Post # 1
Member
28 posts
Newbee
Not having Fiance attend wedding rehearsal? Okay so this is very weird but, his job has him very tied up and they won’t arrange a good time for the meeting. He has one on Thursday and then on Friday and our rehearsal is 10:30am, then everyone is going out to brunch at 1pm. We have tried finding a time that works, but it clashes with everything. He said that it might not happen for him and since this wedding has been approuching he has been stirring up some issues. Is it odd to show up without my fiance and what would I say to those attending? This would also mean that the best man would not be coming as well, because he was going to pick him up on the way to the venue. Given neither of us have married before, how would he know what to do when the big day comes? We also lose our $25 deposit for that day. What should I do? Please no rude or nasty responses, I ask that there be some helpful advice instead of attacking or leaving a nasty, bitter response. Instead if this is the case, please back click or say nothing at all.
Post # 2
Member
9615 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Can you change the rehearsal time?
Post # 3
Member
28 posts
Newbee
hikingbride : I tried but, we are doing it in the morning and they don’t have anything open towards the afternoon and Thursday they have another event so that day is crossed off as well..
Post # 4
Member
9162 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
honestly, what do you really need to rehearse?
we did have one, bc it was convienient. it was 10 minutes and happened right before the rehearsal dinner.
and it was really more for the wedding party. we showed the order they would enter and exit, and where they would stand. i could have just told them too.
if your Fiance can make the brunch part, that’s really all that matters. 1030 to 1 is a LONG time.
also, who is groom? is that someone else. you mention FI picking up groom? or am i reading this wrong?
Post # 5
Member
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
I’m confused, it doesn’t sound like your fiance is the groom, it sounds like there are two different people, your fiance, and the groom who can’t make it because your fiance is picking him up
Post # 6
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
You wrote “This would also mean that the groom would not be coming as well, because he was going to pick him up on the way to the venue.”
I’m confused, is your fiance not the groom? Is this for someone else’s rehearsal? Or did you mean to write groomsmen? If it’s for your own wedding and the time really can’t be changed then maybe you can do without a rehearsal at all? We didn’t have one and everything went smoothly. If it’s for someone elses, I really wouldn’t worry about it.
Post # 7
Member
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
And if it’s your rehearsal, when is it? Your tag line says your wedding is in February which means you have some time to coordinate with the venue
Post # 8
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
Is your fiance the groom or not? It’s not very clear from this post.
If your fiance is the groom, he needs to be at the rehearsal. It’s more important for him to be involved in this than any out of town bridal party. If that means you book a week in advance for an evening spot so it doens’t complicate hiw work schedule than do it. You can always adjust your rehearsal dinner plans to shift to the evening before. Or arrange to have two rehearsals, one that fits his schedule and as many people there as possible. And then a second one with out of towners who need to know what they’re doing.
But the groom needs to know the plan and attend at least one rehearsal. As for picking someone else up on the way to the venue, your adults, figure out a different ride for the person who needs one.
Post # 9
Member
28 posts
Newbee
Yes he is picking up the best man (sorry) on the way there, the officiant wanted to go over our lines and I know that will be well over 10 minutes because we are also trying to arrange the sand ceremony and the coordinator wanted to also go over placement on the same day. Knowing my Family who is going to be a main part in the wedding, they also take forever by talking among each other. I plan to tell them that things need to be in a hurry and to have everything over by a specific time. The brunch being held at 1pm is the only open time some people attending can make, otherwise it would just be me and my Grandparents, possible the groom or Fiance. Either way his job is not letting him take any time off around 10am to 11am, so even if its 10 minutes he still might not be able to make it. I am just wondering what I would say to those attending or if it would look weird being only me there. My Fiance wants me to teach him everything the officiant says to do at the rehearsal on Friday night. Also my wedding is not in Feb, its December 23rd..sorry about that! I tried asking the coordinator if we could arrange a better time, but the only date she has open is Friday morning.
Post # 10
Member
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
starsandsakuras :
Edited because I saw you changed the word “groom” to “best man”. I’m sorry you’re stressed, bee.
Could you meet with the officiant outside of the venue time? That way you have more options and aren’t tied down to the venue availability
Post # 11
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
So, your husband is a groomsman? Are you in the wedding party? This seems like a problem for the bride & groom to figure out… just tell them that your fiance can’t make it.
Post # 12
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
I think there is a language barrier here or this is a POLYcouple. Or this isn’t your wedding. What are you meaning by groom? Because I think you have the wrong word. If this is your wedding your fiance is the GROOM.
There is zero requirement to have food the same day as your rehearsal. Just arrange an evening meal. But you’re time of 10:30 only sounds incredibly inconvenient to a lot of people. Your basically forcing people to take a day off for a rehearsal.
Post # 13
Member
28 posts
Newbee
jannigirl : Sorry yes my Husband, I meant the best man.. Everyone attending said 10:30 works best for them, they picked this day and the venue said this is the only time available. I asked about meeting outside of the place a week before and she said because of her having to pickup the kids from school and them having after school/events that she could only meet at the venye by appointment. My Fiance is the only one unable to make it. Sorry I got the two confused, never done this before and the whole thing has my brain scrambled trying to figure it all out.
Post # 14
Member
5447 posts
Bee Keeper
Maybe you keep the rehearsal date for you and you can tell your fiance what he has to know after. Then meet with the officiant separately.
our officiant wasn’t at our rehearsal
Post # 15
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
I think rehearsals are so unnecessary so I would skip the whole thing if I was you.
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