Fiance may not be able to attend

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
977 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

starsandsakuras :  How many people are attending the brunch? Is it primarily your family or his as well? If it’s both families I do think it would feel a bit odd for the groom to miss it. Is it too late to cancel the rehearsal and brunch all together? 

Post # 18
9743 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

You don’t have to rehearse at the venue. If none of thier times work for your husband just find somewhere else to do it. 

Post # 19
142 posts
Blushing bee

Seems to me more important for the bride & groom to be at the rehearsal than the coordinator? 

Perhaps just meet with officiant with the 2 of you (bride and groom) to go over the lines. 


Post # 20
2460 posts
Buzzing bee

Could you do a rehearsal in a different location?  Either do the actual rehearsal with someone standing in for the groom and then do a 2nd quickie run through (with the groom) later, or see if your officient would be able to meet you for a rehearsal elsewhere?  

Or, crazy as it sounds, any possibility you could keep the rehearsal time and have your Fiance dial in or FaceTime in?  

Post # 21
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You don’t really need to rehearse. There’s not much to it, and your officiant leads you throughout the ceremony. I would hold the rehearsal, because your attendants are the ones who really need instruction (what door to walk out of, reminder to stop midway for pics, etc). All your groom has to do is walk up when he’s signaled, stand there and wait for you, repeat after the officiant for vows, and follow the officiant to the sand table to pour when he’s told. Please don’t stress over this. My venue doesn’t even do rehearsals before the day of the event, because they’ve found them to be pointless. People forget and ask quesitons the day before anyway, so now they just have a rehearsal 30 minutes before the actual wedding, and the bride isn’t part of it.

I did just fine without being part of the rehearsal, and our wedding went beautifully.

However, I am curious about this line in your post, “He said that it might not happen for him and since this wedding has been approuching he has been stirring up some issues.”

What do you mean by that?

Post # 23
6860 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would probably skip the rehearsal if the GROOM isnt even attending. As part of the wedding party I’d feel pretty ripped off if I was forced to take time off to attend this when 1/2 the couple wasnt even attending lol. 

Post # 24
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Have the rehersal and Facetime or skype him in. 

Post # 25
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

starsandsakuras :  A rehearsal is unnecessary, especially if you have a small or uncomplicated bridal party. We did ours like 10 minutes before the ceremony. Maybe you can ask to have a quick one before then and arrange your photography schedule accordingly.

Post # 26
1558 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

Honestly, your Fiance is kind of a key piece for the rehearsal…


Disagree with PP’s on 1st page. I found our rehearsal to be very helpful for pacing and timing. And nerves the following day.

Post # 27
403 posts
Helper bee

Your fiance can’t get the day before his wedding off work? That’s unfortunate 🙁 I’m sure like others said you can relay the important details on! If I were in your shoes id still do the rehearsal for my own sake and if I was doing the rehearsal I’d still do the brunch, just explain the situation to everyone. 

Post # 28
21 posts

If your fiance absolutely can’t get off work and you decide to go ahead with the wedding rehearsal anyways, I’d have someone not in the wedding party film the whole thing. That way your fiance will be able to watch the video later and familiarize himself with the process. And if you’re nervous you’ll get confused, you can watch the video again with him as a refresher. 

Post # 29
1555 posts
Bumble bee

starsandsakuras :  have you met your officiant before? Can you arrange a meeting with the officiant and your fiancé privately to run through the requirements of the ceremony. Then cancel the rehearsal and take your grandparents out to brunch 

Post # 30
552 posts
Busy bee

libellules :  Couldn’t agree more. Attended several weddings and a rehersal was crucial for the wedding party (MOH, bestman groomsmen, bridesmaids, flower girls, ringbearer, etc.) and parents to know how/when and in what order they should come in, stop for pics, etc. The ones that didn’t have a rehersal were a shitshow. Remember not everybody is good at verbal instructions and needs to go through the motions to familiarize, especially when all eyes are on them. It was a ‘new’ and unfamiliar situation for some kids and they started to cry.

If the wedding party is just going to comprise of you, Fiance and a single Maid/Matron of Honor and best man, it’s not a huge deal. But if you have a huge wedding party including kids, go through the rehersal at least for the benefit of the wedding party. You can go through the vows with the officiant before. 

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