Fiancé might have an STI

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
10605 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m just super interested in hearing the story he comes up with about how he got an STI but didn’t have sex with anyone.

Sadly bee, a spade is a spade. If the test comes back positive it’s very likely he’s slept with someone. Perhaps either he thinks you’re stupid enough to fall for whatever he comes up with or he’s too stupid to realize you’ll connect the dots.

Post # 3
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

This happened to my FH too, and it was a urinary tract infection.  The doctor he went to was SUPER unhelpful and bitchy, and basically just told him under no uncertain terms that it was an STI.  She just assumed that because he was a young male.  He was so confused and upset, but all the tests for STI’s finally came back negative and he when he went to pick up his antibiotics the doctor was like “oh, whoops.  Oh well.”

So he may really be telling the truth.  Stranger things have happened.

Post # 4
2677 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

Can this sort of thing lay dormant for 2+ years? I would probably still leave the relationship though. You already have trust issues and how can you be sure he didn’t lie about this also?

Also, make yourself an appointment asap to be checked, as well!

Good luck!!

Post # 5
60 posts
Worker bee

I am sorry you are going through that. It is a scary feeling. Chlamydia can take years to show symptoms. Plus, he was straight up with you and didn’t go to the doctor in secret. If he thought he had an STI while cheating on you, it seems like he would have not said anything at all and made an appointment on the down low. 

Luckily it is an easy disease to treat. 

Post # 6
745 posts
Busy bee

I don’t know if an STI can be in your system for two years and then just show itself out of nowhere. Did you guys get tested in the past? If he was tested in the past while you were together, and came back negative, and now he has an STI, then that means he cheated on you. 

Plus he has a history of lying so there’s a good chance he’s lying about this too.


Post # 8
47449 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t jump to conclusions.

The most common culprits of penile discharge are chlamydia, gonorrhea, ureaplasma, mycoplasma and trichomoniasis—all of which can cause similar symptoms. Discharge from the penis is not a “normal” occurrence in men; however, just because you’re experiencing discharge doesn’t mean you necessarily have an STD.”

Did you get tested too? If it is an STD, it is possible for couples to pass an infection back and forth between partners. Couples are often treated at the same time to prevent this.

Post # 10
2075 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Just look up the incubation period between infection and the onset of symptoms once you get confirmed results.  You’ll know all you need to know then…..but do take note of the excuse you’ll get from your SO.   And no, it doesn’t take 2 years for symptoms to show up for those two particular STI’s.  They either show up soon or don’t show up at all.

Post # 12
8259 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Wait for the results. Make sure you are with him when he gets them as well. Do some research and have some questions ready for the doc.

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