Post # 1
Freaking out a little here.
My Fiancé of two and a half years came home from work today complaining of penile discharge. We went straight to the doctors to get it checked out. We won’t know anything for sure until we get the results back in two days time but the doctor seemed pretty convinced it’s either gonorrhoea or chlamydia. Which obviously can only be transmitted through sexual activity.
Of course I questioned my fiancé about this but he swears black and blue he hasn’t been unfaithful. If it does come back positive he must of cheated though right?
He seemed really worried about it but I can’t tell if it’s because he’s a little dramatic with these things (he’s the kind of person that googles random symptoms and then thinks he has cancer when it’s just a cold lol) or if he’s worried because he’s cheated and I’m about to find out.
He did let me come into the doctors office with him though which is strange if he’s cheated because he must’ve known I’d find out
He was kind of emotionally unfaithful in the beginning of our relationship (still had feelings for another girl he’d known before me, didn’t act on it in any way or even tell the girl, just messaged a guy friend about her saying he wasn’t sure who he wanted to be with) but once he committed to me and ceased contact with her I didn’t think I had anything to worry about.
He also has always and still does struggle with lying though which we are currently in couples therapy for. So there are some trust issues there.
I don’t know what to think, my thoughts are just everywhere. I don’t want to be unsupportive if he’s going through something awful but I also don’t want to be naive and be cheated on
Post # 2
I’m just super interested in hearing the story he comes up with about how he got an STI but didn’t have sex with anyone.
Sadly bee, a spade is a spade. If the test comes back positive it’s very likely he’s slept with someone. Perhaps either he thinks you’re stupid enough to fall for whatever he comes up with or he’s too stupid to realize you’ll connect the dots.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
This happened to my FH too, and it was a urinary tract infection. The doctor he went to was SUPER unhelpful and bitchy, and basically just told him under no uncertain terms that it was an STI. She just assumed that because he was a young male. He was so confused and upset, but all the tests for STI’s finally came back negative and he when he went to pick up his antibiotics the doctor was like “oh, whoops. Oh well.”
So he may really be telling the truth. Stranger things have happened.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
Can this sort of thing lay dormant for 2+ years? I would probably still leave the relationship though. You already have trust issues and how can you be sure he didn’t lie about this also?
Also, make yourself an appointment asap to be checked, as well!
Post # 5
I am sorry you are going through that. It is a scary feeling. Chlamydia can take years to show symptoms. Plus, he was straight up with you and didn’t go to the doctor in secret. If he thought he had an STI while cheating on you, it seems like he would have not said anything at all and made an appointment on the down low.
Luckily it is an easy disease to treat.
Post # 6
I don’t know if an STI can be in your system for two years and then just show itself out of nowhere. Did you guys get tested in the past? If he was tested in the past while you were together, and came back negative, and now he has an STI, then that means he cheated on you.
Plus he has a history of lying so there’s a good chance he’s lying about this too.
Post # 7
yeah I guess we’ll see when the tests come back.
Post # 8
I wouldn’t jump to conclusions.
“The most common culprits of penile discharge are chlamydia, gonorrhea, ureaplasma, mycoplasma and trichomoniasis—all of which can cause similar symptoms. Discharge from the penis is not a “normal” occurrence in men; however, just because you’re experiencing discharge doesn’t mean you necessarily have an STD.”
Did you get tested too? If it is an STD, it is possible for couples to pass an infection back and forth between partners. Couples are often treated at the same time to prevent this.
Post # 9
thank you for sharing that. I really hope that this is the case.
Post # 10
Just look up the incubation period between infection and the onset of symptoms once you get confirmed results. You’ll know all you need to know then…..but do take note of the excuse you’ll get from your SO. And no, it doesn’t take 2 years for symptoms to show up for those two particular STI’s. They either show up soon or don’t show up at all.
Post # 11
I’m not sure about it laying dormant but I will be asking the doctor for all the facts.
I’m not going to leave while he’s making a conscious effort to try and fix himself.
Post # 12
Wait for the results. Make sure you are with him when he gets them as well. Do some research and have some questions ready for the doc.
Post # 13
unfortunately I’ve been an idiot and not been tested in over three years. He has never been tested because he stupidly believed that if you’ve only had a couple of partners and always wore condoms you don’t need to get tested. I should of demanded we both get one though before we started sleeping together.
Post # 14
I will be getting tested, yes. But have not just yet