(Closed) Fiance no help in planning (vent)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

Assign him tasks. I’d say something like this:

Honey, here’s the wording for the invites. You need to check it, order invites from X website (provide the direct link) and make sure they’re here by X date.

If/when he grumbles, grumble back! Tell him you didn’t want the 200 people, so he’s going to deal with it in the next 24 hours, whenever he has time. Physically hand him invite wording/whatever and be “done” with it. I’d give him tasks you know he can handle, and overall just make the wedding more simple so you don’t have to deal with as much.

Post # 4
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

oh man, I’m sorry- this seems like it’d be SO frustrating! Just kick his butt into gear 😛

Post # 6
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I hear ya, I have no advice because I’m kinda in the same boat.  He’ll be act like he’s soooo willing to do what I ask him to do, but then he never gets around to it.  Its frustrating.  I freaked out on him a couple times, that doesn’t work either so avoid it!  It had the opposite effect.  The one thing that did kinda light a fire, was when I went to him and said something like, “babe, I’m starting to get a little stressed with all of the things on my to-do list, it would mean a lot to me if you tried to help”.  See, I wasn’t all emo and it worked… lets just see how long it lasts. 

Post # 7
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with LaborOfLove – instead of insisting it be done RIGHT THEN, you’re likely to have more success if you assign a reasonable time frame instead. Only a total jerk would say that he couldn’t take 5 minutes to read something by the end of the day. But no one likes being interrupted, even if they ARE just zoning out and surfing the net. Best of luck!

Post # 8
1565 posts
Bumble bee

I would just be on his case until he did it, but try to be logical and understanding about it. If he says he doesn’t want to deal with it, just reply that neither do you, but it needs to get done. If he doesn’t understand why all this stuff needs to get done so early, show him your to-do list to give him an idea of how many tasks you still have left. If he agrees it needs to be done but doesn’t want to do it himself, gently remind him that it was he who insisted on the huge wedding. Can’t argue with logic 🙂 

Post # 9
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Assign him things if you want him to help.

Really though, this gives you free creative license. If he doesn’t help, he doesn’t get to complain later =]. Darling Husband was deployed when we planned the wedding and I simply just did it all…it was too stressful trying to get his opinion…men can be so apathetic about weddings =. i would totally threaten to cut stuff out if he doesn’t help though!

Post # 12
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

Yay! Glad it’s getting done!

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