(Closed) Fiance not interest in planning wedding

posted 7 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 4
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is there something worrying her about the wedding? Finances? Is she self concious? Does she think it’s your “role?”

Post # 5
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, first of all, welcome to wedding bee!  and yay October brides!  ๐Ÿ™‚ 

It can definitely be a bummer when your partner isn’t as excited about the wedding planning process (especially when you are).  And I think it’s common that there’s one person in the relationship who isn’t going to be as excited.  

I found that my fiance got excited when we discussed things that he cared about, not surprisingly.  Otherwise everything else has been uh huh sure whatever you want, sounds fine.  Do you know if there’s any aspects of the wedding that she would find exciting or that she’d care about?  Identifying what she would be excited about may be a good first start in getting her excited.  Or maybe she needs to join wedding bee too…get sucked into the excitement of it all.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I’d ask her to write down the 5 things that are really important to her when it comes to the actual day, and perhaps consult most with her on those. My husband was really uninterested in a lot of the planning process too; it wasn’t because he didn’t care about the wedding, but just didn’t care about a lot of the planning aspects. He definitely pulled his weight when it came to execution, but I definitely didn’t consult him on little things I knew he wouldn’t care about.

Post # 9
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

And YES! Welcome to Weddingbee! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Welcome!

My Fiance definitely hasn’t been interested in every aspect of the planning. I’ve been the one who has done all the research, contacting vendors, signing contracts, confirming, making decisions. He has helped when I say I need you to do X. But sometimes that is hard. He is really excited about the wedding but he is just not a planner like I am.

I agrea with whoever said find out what are the most important parts to her and work on those together. If you have agreed on the rest then just have at it. Run ideas by her and let her know what you are doing.

Just try to have fun with it and don’t take on more than you can handle doing yourself.

Post # 12
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hi and welcome!

Another idea for you might be to narrow things down to a few top choices. Rather than say, sit down lets look at cakes and watch her glaze over or reply with “whatever you want is fine”. Give her a few of your favorite choices. It’s easier to pick between 2 or 3 of something, especially if you know the person likes both options so your not picking the “wrong” thing.

This is what I agreed to with my Fiance. He isn’t anti-planning and he cares about the wedding. But the minor details, where I want his input, he really doesn’t care. So his solution was to bring him a few choices and he’ll let me know if he has a preference.

Hope that makes sense.

Post # 13
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i like miss penguins idea about 5 important things. my Fiance likes to fish. i was not going to carry a fishin pole down the aislle but we are wrking on a fish themed grooms cake. he also likes the 49ers…so thats what my garter is. just do what you think she would like and roll with it. make sure you incorperate a little of both of you in there! have fun and dont worry about typos. i have them allll the time. lol welcome to the bee ๐Ÿ™‚

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