(Closed) Fiance not really contributing to the planning process?

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Does your man help you with things for the wedding without complaining?

    YES

    NO

  • Post # 17
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I voted he didn’t complian, because he really helped a whole lot.  But we did reach a limit on his trips to Hobby Lobby…and I can’t blame him for that!  🙂

    Post # 19
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    SuperFine doesn’t give a shit about planning our wedding. He pretty much agrees with whatever I say. He gets excited and he helps me with projects, he just doesn’t really give much input.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1900 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It depends on his mood – sometimes he’ll go out and organise things all on his own, without any prompting from me, sometimes he’ll come and check something out with me, other times I have to drag him over (whining the whole time) so he knows what’s going on.

    I found it easier to just have bunch of things that he has to organise – he’s sorted out his suit and the groomsmen’s suits too, he’s getting his bachelor party sorted, he’s figuring out the music/entertainment, and loads of other things.

    Post # 21
    Member
    993 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Fiance pretty much does absolutely nothing for the wedding and he knows it.  He’s planning to show up.  He had a few ideas – the bridal party, our song, the menu, the ceremony but he’s left it up to me.  I was way overwhelmed and said either you take some things on or hire a wedding planner cause I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.  So we have a planner and its helped take the load off me enormously.

    I think the reasons are that he doesn’t see himself as creative/caring about aesthetics and that its girly stuff.  He’s kind of old fashioned – and as I know you take the good traditional aspects with the bad.

    Post # 23
    Member
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Eh, I didn’t really want his help.  He did get some addresses for me because they were friends of his that I didn’t even know.  I went to all the vendor meetings alone because it was easy for me to do them during the workday when he couldn’t get away. I asked his opinion on the food, and he picked exactly what he wanted to wear and what he wanted the Groomsmen to wear.  I’m pretty independent, and it’s easier for me just to do stuff myself than ask or depend on other people.

    Post # 24
    Member
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Eh, I didn’t really want his help.  He did get some addresses for me because they were friends of his that I didn’t even know.  I went to all the vendor meetings alone because it was easy for me to do them during the workday when he couldn’t get away. I asked his opinion on the food, and he picked exactly what he wanted to wear and what he wanted the Groomsmen to wear.  I’m pretty independent, and it’s easier for me just to do stuff myself than ask or depend on other people.

    Post # 26
    Member
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    View original reply
    @Lepidoptera:  Yeah, I get what you’re saying – I just found it easier to do it myself.  I didn’t need that experience and I really just wanted to get the planning over as fast as possible – it was not my favorite thing.  That’s why we had a 4 month engagement 😉

    Post # 28
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @Lepidoptera:  aaw lol thats sounds like something I would have done as well if my Fiance was being an ass.

    My Fi’s interest changes daily I think. We haven’t done much planning since I’ve been dealing with job stuff and put that on the back burner but I’ve got less than 9 months to go so we kind of have to start haha. It definately depends on his mood though but he does generally want a say in whats happening in the wedding. I know he jokes around that he just wants to give me the credit card but he is a bit of a control freak so I doubt that would happen haha.

    I think if you are ok with your Fiance not being involved then thats great, but I would be annoyed if I asked for help because I’m overwhelmed and got attitude. Really its not just YOUR day and its unfair for you to have to do EVERYTHING and he just gets to enjoy it.

    Good luck and I hope you are able to find a way to work on this together.

    Post # 29
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Not as much as i would like but he does help.

    Post # 30
    Member
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Every Monday, I email my fiance a to do list. His involvement stays at the to do list because quite honestly, he’s a man. They don’t care about the frills. When I ask him to do something, he does it and he does it quickly. When I asked him if he wanted to help me pick out invitations, he said he didn’t care about the invitations, just make sure it had who, what, when, why, where and he’ll be fine with whatever I came up with. 

    He saw the save the dates when I mailed one to him. He loved it, but prior to that, he could care less. He’s good at big projects. Review and sign all the contracts, notify your grooms men, deal with hotel rooms and travel, start collecting names and addresses of your side of the family, write the checks.

    Other than that, his mom and sisters are my wedding planning committee. I’m fine with it.

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