(Closed) fiance not wanting to wear wedding ring

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It is a matter of preference.  Many older men I know don’t wear a ring including father and Father-In-Law.  My ex wore a ring at first but it became damaged and was never repaired so he just didn’t wear one.  At first it would have mattered to me but after the newlywed mindset wears off a lot of things just don’t matter so much.  

Post # 33
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It would bother me if he didn’t want to wear it. There’s a difference between not being able to wear it due to work and not wanting to. I love my Fiance wears a ring now, and that he wanted to. But every couple is different.

Post # 34
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Mine didn’t want to wear one but I wasn’t going to let that slide. He wears it everyday now :o) It makes me very happy to see that beautiful plain gold band on his finger.

Post # 35
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

My husband doesn’t wear his.  He’s a mechanic, and can’t wear it to work, and unless we are going somewhere, he doesn’t wear it. It’s fine with me, my dad didn’t wear a wedding band for 30 years of his and my mom’s marriage, and just got a new one a few years ago. 

I don’t think a piece of jewelry makes you any more married. He also never wore rings before, so he plays with it all the time when he does wear it, so I get worried he’s going to end up losing it!

Post # 36
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2022 - City, State

My Fiance (before we were engaged) didn’t want to wear a wedding band.  He said it was uncomfortable and didn’t see the purpose (his parents never wore rings).  We made a compromise that I said he wear it for 6 months and if he STILL REALLY didn’t want to wear it despite the fact that it was really important to me then fine.  Since at 6 months I assumed he would be used to wearing it.  Funny thing is after this LONG discussion, when we got engaged he started wearing a ring because he knew I’d like it, so in practice it was a useless discussion.  I think also its because he gets upset when I’m out and not wearing my ring, so his feelings that “it wouldn’t bother him” didn’t really hold.  

I would say work something out with him.  Let him know its important to you, and that since its dangerous for him to wear it at work, can he wear it when he’s out and not at work.  So like if you go out to dinner, and on weekends (assuming he has M-F 9-5).  See how he takes that… its a compromise.  

Post # 37
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My Fiance wont be wearing his either, doesnt bother me at all. He doesnt have a job were it would get in the way or hurt him or anything, he is just not a jewerly person. But he is gettting a band tattooed on his finger, so i guess he will always be wearing something ๐Ÿ˜‰ I am also getting a band tattooed on my ring finger (actually a ‘knot’) I have very sensitive skin and my ring is white gold but still the skin in between my fingers gets irritated, so it doesnt matter to me if he doesnt wear his ring, cause im not wearing mine all the time, and we will have tattoo rings!!

Post # 38
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My boy hasn’t decided if he wants to wear a ring yet. It’s quite possible that he will choose not to have a wedding band. His job has nothing to do with his decision, he’s just not one for jewellery and so to him the idea of wearing a ring is quite foreign.

It won’t bother me in the slightest if he doesn’t wear one. 2 of my brother-in-laws have never worn wedding rings and they have been happily married to my sisters for almost 30 years ๐Ÿ™‚

For some people it really is just a piece of precious metal on your finger and doesn’t signify anything more than that.

My engagement ring is very special to me (as my wedding band will be also), but I know my boy doesn’t have the same sentimentality about “things”, so it won’t worry me in the slightest if he chooses not to wear a ring himself. He’s my husband with or without the band.

Post # 39
Member
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Jewelry is a woman’s delight, really.  Mine won’t wear his ring at work for safety reasons.  He says he will wear it on the weekend, but it doesn’t really matter to me. I told him I would wear it on my middle finger or thumb, it is soooooo comfy.  As long as you have love, the ring really doesn’t matter.  AS long as you enjoy YOURS ๐Ÿ˜€  I can’t wait to wear mine!!!

Post # 40
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When we started ring shopping (for his band) 2 months ago, my fiance dropped the bomb that his ring would be more comfortable on his right hand..and I must admit, I was like WHAT?!?   He has never been married before, so has never had a ring on his left hand, but has worn a ring on his right pinky for about 15 yrs now. I guess since thats the hand he is used to, thats what he figured he would do with his wedding band.  ( for what its worth his job is not dangerous, he is a systems engineer) I must admit, I was very hurt thinking he wouldnt WANT to wear something that means so much, in the place it was intended to be. Afterall, a ring on the right hand, is, well, just that, a right hand ring. After a few days of me being on edge (yes, he knew something was wrong, as he can read me like a book) we sat and talked about it and I expressed to him how important our wedding rings are to me. That they send a message and represent the amazing bond we have. Yes, for the world to see, but more importantly me/us. I want to see that ring over and over again and be reminded of how lucky I am to be this wonderful mans wife and how blessed we are to have each other.  Once he knew how important it was to me, it became a dead issue. He will be wearing his band on the 3rd finger of his left hand ♥  

I say if you feel strongly about it, be honest and open and tell him. Once I told my man how important it is to me, he changed his mind on a dime.

Post # 41
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

eh, I wouldn’t care.

Post # 42
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We bought one for Fiance, but I honestly couldn’t care if he wears it. His line of work isn’t ideal for wearing one, so I don’t expect him to wear it there, and if he wants to wear it socially that’s fine, but if he doesn’t that’s ok, too. It’s kind of normal for me, though, because my parents have been married for 26 years and my dad hasn’t worn a ring in probably the last 20 years, and my mom rarely wears hers.

Post # 43
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Personally I’d be upset if he didn’t wear his ring as I like to mark  my territory Smile But if he had a job where rings were dangerous, then I’d be more ok with it.  A coworker of mine never wears a ring – after he lost two of them he and his wife decided it was no longer worth it!  And a friend of mine’s parents came up with an interesting agreement.  The husband really did not want to wear a ring so the wife agreed he didn’t have to, as long as he bought her a nice piece of jewelry every year on their anniversary.  So maybe you should see if you can get something out of him not wearing a ring Smile

Post # 44
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

my fiance wont be wearing a wedding ring either,  becuase he operates machinery  and he doesnt ever wear jewellery.  people talk about tradition,  but its actually NOT  traditional for the man to wear a wedding ring,  that came in in the 40′-50s,   no doubt thought up by a jeweller!   LOL

Yes Prince William didnt wear a ring, and its not because he cant afford one, or that he works in construction……but because of tradition. 

i dont care,  as long as i get to wear one…..

Post # 46
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My fiance doesn’t want a ring either. His dad, my dad and grandfathers never wore rings. Only the women wear them. My mom doesn’t have one either and my parents have been married 35 years. He made it totally clear that he has no problem telling people he is married whether they ask him or not. He only wears a watch which I can’t wait to upgrade! (surprise wedding gift) I asked how he would feel if I stopped wearing mine and he was pissed! So I decided that since he doesn’t want one, we can use that $ for his ring toward my wedding band- score! We clearly understand that these are the startup rings anyway.

 

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