Fiance Out of the Blue Left

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should I Move On or Try?
    Move On : (72 votes)
    89 %
    Try To Work Things Out : (9 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 31
    3510 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    bre3 :  I’m sorry to say, but I agree with @oceangirl40 that you should work from the premise that it is over.

    TBH I’m not sure if there is any coming back from this at this point. Initially, I thought that it could be worked through if it really was a matter of him having a freakout and making a rash decision but wanting and being willing to work on the communication problems. However, his resistance at this point is going to taint anything going forward. So not only will you always worry that he’s just going to up and leave again out of the blue, but you’ll also wonder how committed he is to you on a day to day basis. To me, at this point, it sounds like even if part of him wants to make it work, another bigger part of him is intentionally sabotaging that possibility.

    I honestly think the better thing for you to do is figure out how to move on. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is. But it’s gonna be even harder trying to hold on when he’s not holding on with you.

    Post # 32
    131 posts
    Blushing bee

    I can’t believe what some people are saying here – it’s NEVER right to just leave like this, clearly it was mostly HIM who was struggling to communicate. It’s very natural for this kind of people to leave like this. They prefer to hide than face a problem and have a conversation. To me this is childlike and stupid behaviour. So even if she was misreading him, I am still on her side because what he did is unforgiveable. Girl, if he did it once, he will do it again and AGAIN. Tust me, it happens in friendships too. Just leave him and don’t waste your time.

    Post # 33
    4729 posts
    Honey bee

    I’m sorry this happened and it’s not your fault. Mind-reading is not a relationship skill. I would operate on the premise that it’s over, because it is. Furthermore, his insistence that everyone hates him and that he’s a miserable person sounds a lot like a guilty conscience. I suspect that he doesn’t want to tell you everything and that there was a catalyst in this situation.  

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