Post # 17
I’m sorry but I find it very hard to hold it against his parents when they are trying to protect investments THEY have earned and given to your Fiance. You could always draw up the prenup to only include those assets.
Post # 18
I’d sign the prenup. Signing a prenup doesn’t say “Okay, now failure is an option.” If divorce is not an option, then you just tuck that paper away and never have to think about it again.
Post # 19
I agree, I don’t see the issue with it, just to protect their “joint” assets. You can write the terms of the prenup so that say if they own a business jointly with him, that you have no rights to that, but you do to all other income, etc. Same would go with your assets. I don’t think him giving up his assets to “prove” his love is a sound financial decision, and isn’t likely to change his parents opinion of you (probably the opposite in fact). So get your own representation and draft a pre-nup that will placate his parents and protect you both.
ETA: I didn’t do a prenup with my husband because neither of us had siginificant assets before marriage, and generally any assets you gain during the marriage are not covered by it (to my knowledge) but it would definitely be something I would have considered if I had assets like a business, house, trust, etc before I was married.
Post # 20
@bridetobedee: get the prenup. A judge would likely rule in his favor for assets acquired before marriage anyway so him losing it due to his parents’ ignorance is foolish.
Post # 21
I agreed with my fiance not to do a prenup to support him because he didnt care to do one allthough i was considering it. I dont want him to loose everything nor have a bad r/s with his parents. But i guess is more so my fiance trying to stand up for me by ‘giving up everything’ when he doesnt havent too ..and telling me all he needs is me. 🙁 .. im just confused.
Post # 22
Get your own lawyer and have them look at the prenup. You need to be protected too.
Post # 23
I know it seems “romantic” that he is trying to stand up to his parents to prove his love for you, but it’s not a sound financial decision and it won’t really achieve anything. It’s not going to make his parents accept or like you, so the gallantry of the gesture is wasted. Really talk this over with him before he does this!
Post # 24
Ugh this is pretty gross. It sounds like you are putting your foot down and trying not to let their negativity affect your relationship more than it already has. Unfortunately what they are saying makes sense. Get a prenup drawn up to protect both sides. Don’t include future assets so whatever you make together will be yours to decide upon, not theirs. Once their money and assets are protected they may be nicer to you (shows what shitty arseholes they are but at least they may be civil)
Post # 25
I agree with PP. Prenumps aren’t very romantic, and it is awful that his parents are being so judgemental of you, but it makes sense that they want to protect their assets. I believe that marriage is for eternity, and I think I would have been a little upset (and befuddled, since neither of us had any assets when we got married, just out of college) if my husband had wanted a prenump, but if his parents had things to protect, that they wanted to go to their children, that would have stung a little, but would have made sense. Good luck!
Post # 26
@bridetobedee: there is nothing wrong with signing a prenup to protect one’s assets. look at it this way, years down the road, if your child was in your fi’s position, wouldn’t you want to ensure that your son or daughter was protected?
i think that your fil’s have every right to request a prenup. it’s a family business. it’s their business. they have worked very hard to achieve what they have.
everyone involved should have their own representation so that the prenup is protection for everyone and not just one-sided.
don’t be offended. review it with your lawyer and if it looks ok, sign it.
Post # 27
Im sorry to hear about that!! i think you guys just have to do what you got to do. we had a couple of friends get married (ten years ago) and i guess his parents wanted them to sign one. they didnt so he never got what his father wanted to give him. (up here in alaska fish pounds. which are worth ALOT) so they got married anyways.
we had also wanted my mom to sign one with her new husband but she didnt. they are still together. and its been 5 years.
just do what feels right. i wouldnt sign one. whats the point of getting married if you really think you are going to break up. divorce is real but if someone really thinks they could get divorced and is preparing for it before they get married. idk that sounds kinda odd. people do have to be carefull because ppl do marry for money but everything is life is a gamble. i think trust is a huge part of a relationship. and if he wanted me to sign one i would feel like he didnt trust me. im sorry his parents dont but maybe after a few years they will see you have not as bad as they made you out to seem in their head
Post # 28
If it’s their assets they are trying to protect, I completely understand their desire for a prenup. They don’t know you (which I know is their fault), so they are going to have trouble trusting you.
You know you aren’t in it for the money and that this is forever, so I’d just sign to give them some peace of mind. It’s just a paper.
Post # 29
I would just do the prenup. We have considered doing a prenup since I will owe significantly more in student loans than him. Like, I owe a ton and he owes zero. I really don’t mind because even though I don’t mind spending his money I have always seen my student loans as something I would pay off. It’s a smart thing to do really. It’s just a piece of paper and they are probably just looking out for their son.
Post # 30
It sounds like you’re doing well financially on your own, so have a lawyer look over the pre-nup to make sure you’re protected as well. And I would sign it. It sounds like you’re fine with doing it, and it also sounds like he doesn’t quite understand the reality of his grand gesture. Yes, it is a sweet thought, but ultimately will make things worse for you. His parents will be very angry, and hate you even more because they will think that you put him up to it. Is he prepared to be on bad terms with his parents for a really long time? Let him know you appreciate the sweetness of his gesture, and you know that he’s willing to make a stance for you. But if he does this big grand gesture with the idea of not letting his parents win, his parents will still win because they will feel justified in their suspicions about you. If you sign a pre-nup, it will look ridiculous for his parents to continue to be suspicious about you. They asked for the pre-nup because they expected something like this to happen. Don’t give them the satisfaction of “being right”. Sign it, and live in the satisfaction that you are a better person, you will never use it, and you will love each other happily for the rest of your lives.