(Closed) Fiance parents wants us to do a prenup- but he will loose everything if we dont.

posted 8 years ago in Legal
Post # 32
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Prenups blow. OP you and your husband should decide what is best for the both of you.

Post # 33
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It sounds like he wants to toss his money away to prove that this is about love – not money – but you could prove exactly the same thing with a prenup. Signing it would show that you love each other for who you are, not because of who has what. If you’re not planning to divorce it shouldn’t matter anyway. I certainly wouldn’t encourage him to throw away his fortune to prove a point. Money may not buy happiness but it does buy security and stability.

Post # 34
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

This sounds like a really unpleasant situation and I’m sorry your in-laws are judging you. I’m not really in favour of pre-nups either so I can understand why it makes you uncomfortable. However, while it sounds really romantic for you Fiance to give up his inheritance to prove his love, etc., in practical terms I think that’s a bad idea. Sounds like cutting off your nose to spite your face to me. If you want a good relationship with your in-laws, maybe you should try to overcome your misgivings and sign the prenup as a step towards gaining their trust.

Post # 35
Member
404 posts
Helper bee

I think I would just sign it. It sucks, but in the long run they might be nicer to you, and approve of you more if they can see you do actually want to marry their son for him, not his money. They may even become generous with you if they see you’re not at all out for the money.

Also, to me, I feel that if you’re expecting to be together forever, and have no expectations of divorce ever, it makes little to no difference signing it. Like if I agree that when I’m in space I wont try and eat half the moon. I have no plans to go to space and I bet the moon isn’t particularly delicious.

I agree with PP’s who say get your own sorted, not his parent’s draft. That way it will be centered around the two of you, not just around him. Also, try and find a positive or a funny side to this. I’m sure you can work something out so you don’t feel so lame about it.

Post # 36
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If I were your fiance, I’d be trying to find out what his parents problem with you are since they’ve never met you. Do they expect him to never get married?

Post # 37
Member
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think I would in your position… After getting an INCREDIBLE lawyer to fight for you over negotiations! A really good lawyer will be able to negotiate a contract that protects your assets, too.

Post # 38
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@bridetobedee:  Give them a document but then sign another document invalidating it immediately thereafter and then don’t share the second document with them.  It’s really none of their business whether you and your FH sign a prenuptial agreement and it may not hold up in court anyway depending on where you are living should you ever file for divorce anyway.

Post # 39
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@bridetobedee:  if you’re not after his money, just sign it and get it over with. That also proves that your relationship isn’t driven by money. 

So why hesitate? 

Post # 41
Member
637 posts
Busy bee

I’m signing a pre-nup! His parents have a family business that they’re passing down to him and it insures that I can’t walk away with half the company. A pre-nup can also PROTECT YOU! I have a clause that says *if* I decide to stay home for a couple of years with kids, he must provide a certain amount of money per year that I’m not gaining an income. Because it would really suck to be a divorced Stay-At-Home Mom with no income.

Post # 42
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I think you should sign the prenup but have a lawyer look at it thoroughly first. I don’t think the parents are being selfish by wanting the assets they’ve worked hard for to stay within the family. You didn’t help create those assets so I think it’s right for them to have it anyways. You can add your own clauses to the prenup that will protect and insure your life as well. Honestly they aren’t going to trust or like you any better if you refuse to sign it. It’ll leave a bad impression on them.

Post # 43
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow, he is a romantic! I didn’t like the idea of a prenup either, and wouldn’t have wanted to sign one…luckily Fiance felt the same way. But in this situation… man, I would go ahead and agree to the prenup. Why give up all that money and inheritance? Slightly compromised principles would be worth it imo.

Post # 44
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

I would have an attorney look at it, make sure I’m protected and then sign it. I’m sorry you have to go through all that with his parents. Hopefully they will come around and get to know you. Best wishes!

 

Post # 45
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Going with the majority here. This is silly, just get a lawyer to look at the pre-nup and sign it. It isn’t the end of the world. If you don’t see yourselves breaking up anyway, what’s the harm? No it may not be romantic but who cares. Just try to relax 🙂

Post # 46
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

As his future wife, I personally think you should encourage him to sign it as it seems it is in his (and yours) best interest to do so! (After having a lawyer check it out, of course.)  It sucks a lot that his parent’s are insisting on it and I can see why you wouldn’t want to sign it just out of principal, but on the other hand I can totally understand why his parent’s would feel strongly about protecting assets that they worked hard to obtain (especially since they haven’t even met you yet).  I think there is still hope that you can develop a relationship with them, but if you refuse to sign the prenup a relationship may never come.  

Good luck!

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