(Closed) Fiance says he won't cry during the ceremony

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
5008 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@FutureMrsWeston:  He can say all he likes, but it doesn’t mean he won’t be. DH is SO not emotional but he was in floods of tears when I walked down the aisle. It doesn’t reflect anything about you if he is or isn’t (I didn’t cry and I’m massively emotional).

Post # 4
4042 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe he’s just not the type to cry tears of joy? Have you ever seen  him cry because he is happy? In the examples you gave, he is emotional but sad or angry, not happy.

I think you are overthinking this. Neither you nor he can gauge your emotional reactions ahead of time, you may not cry either. I would try to get past this.

Post # 5
9048 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Some people are just not “tears of joy” people.  For me, it’s just not a reaction that happens.  Neither me or DH shed a single tear our entire wedding day.

Post # 6
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Let it go. Men generally cry rarely, and it’s hard to predict when. Also perhaps there is a difference between tears of sadness and tears of happiness. My husband cries on very rare occasions (e.g. funerals) but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry with joy, and I certainly didn’t see him cry at our wedding. Don’t worry about it and certainly don’t think he loves you any less if he doesn’t cry.

Post # 7
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I cried but my DH didn’t.  Who cares?  Not me.  πŸ™‚

Post # 8
2214 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s hard to predict what reactions you’ll have on the day, so I would cut him some slack. And even if he doesn’t cry, so what? I’m sure he’ll be estatic to be getting married, and that’s what’s important if you ask me.

Post # 9
2436 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@FutureMrsWeston:  You’re being overdramatic.


I’m reading this as “I’m going to be happy and smiling, not crying.” and “A dress won’t make you any more beautiful to me and no piece of clothing could make me love you more, or make me happier to see you”


BOOM! Go high five your fi or something.


ps- if it bothers you so much, make it a petty personal challenge to make him cry on your wedding day. πŸ˜€ Work on some sort of “Disney moment expression” to shoot at him, I dunno… πŸ˜€ Play the growing old clip from “UP” with a projector onto your dress. πŸ˜‰

Post # 10
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I didn’t even cry on my wedding day, and I cry at everything. 




Post # 11
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Fiance always tells me don’t expect him to cry hah, I think guys just have a hard time picturing how emotionally charged the day is because they haven’t been romantisizing it in their heads all the years us girls have! Haha. Don’t worry, even if you don’t see tears that day you’ll be able to see his happiness πŸ™‚

Post # 12
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ll probably be crying my head off so, I hope he doesn’t cry. I’m a total crybaby. Now that I think about it, we’ve been together 5 years and I’ve only seen him cry once, when our cat died.

Post # 13
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think it’s hard for anyone (who has never been married) to predict how they’ll react on the wedding day. It’s a once in a lifetthe experience and like nothing you’ve ever been through before.

Post # 14
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I wouldn’t think about it too much.

I’ve seen my Fiance cry a few times, but it was usually just when we were in the resolution stages of a pretty serious argument, where he’d finally break down and tell me what was REALLY stressing him out and causing our fight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him happy-cry.

So I look at it this way- I’m totally not expecting Fiance to cry, at all. But on the bright side, if he *does* cry I will be completely shocked and surprised, in a good way. πŸ™‚

Just because he isn’t a crier doesn’t mean he loves you any less than a man who would cry.

Post # 15
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

πŸ™ I would be hurt too. But he did say that he doesn’t cry when he’s happy, so it’s not that he’s not looking forward to that day. Men don’t realize that being “emotional” also applies to being happy. I’m willing to be that he’ll cry.

As for the dress, some guys are just like that. They just don’t realize how much certain things mean to us, and they’re blind to the unspoken expectation that they will be wow-ed and mesmerized by us when we walk down the aisle.

Don’t worry though, he says this now, but I’ve never heard of a groom who was unfazed by their wife’s wedding dress. His jaw will drop, or his eyes will glaze over, whatever. It won’t be “just a dress” to him on that day.

Post # 16
19 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

My fiancé and I had a similar conversation and he swears that he’s not going to cry. I’ve seen him cry once in almost 6 years so my goal is to make him shed at least one tear at our wedding. If you say your fiancé is a little emotional he’ll probably cry. As women we know whaMcWilliams make us cry and can be overcome with emotion. I think the guy has to be in the moment. 

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