(Closed) Fiance says he'll be miserable at wedding/reception

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m going to withhold my judgment on the groom for now and ask you WHY he says he’s going to be miserable?  What is it about the wedding/reception that makes him think he’s going to be miserable?

Post # 4
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

why exactly does he think he’s going to be miserable?

Post # 5
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It sounds to me that you are trying your best to make the day a fun one for him. Sadly, some people are stubborn and when they want to be miserable, then there is nothing you can really do.

That being said, why does he feel this way? Is it the attention, or does he feel his friends and family do not want to be there? Have you asked him specifically WHY he will be miserable? What is his idea of having a good time? Ask how else you could possibly make it better…

Post # 6
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Your own wedding?  Yikes.  I’m so sorry to hear that he’s being negative about it.  Has he offered any suggestions or insight?

Post # 7
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I could only imagine how you must be feeling.

Do you think that he feels he is being forced to get married?

Post # 9
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Find a new groom.

Post # 10
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@jamielb:  so whose idea was it to have however many guests you’re having? why didn’t he say anything before?

@StuporDuck:  I laughed at that one.

Post # 11
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ok, I get that the reception might not be his cup of tea, but he is being really bratty and immature about it. It’s 4 hours out of his life to celebrate one of the most important milestones of your lives. He needs to put on his big boy pants (literally – he can’t wear a tux for 4 hours??) and stop whining and making you feel like crap.

That’s my opinion, and if he kept sulking I would tell him that straight out.

Post # 12
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I underStand being anxious about social settings but it’s an amazing special day he should be excited!! I am honestly a little shocked and I feel bad for you, you should both be over the moon for the day! I hope he gets over whatever his issues are… 

Post # 13
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I guess he’s not feeling comfortable being a center of attention?  My husband was very happy with our intimate wedding in Hawaii.  He told me he would be too nervous with normal wedding with many people eyeing on us, LOL.

Post # 14
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Don’t lose hope. My husband was somewhat similar. He didn’t really harp on it, but he wasn’t excited about the wedding like I was and whenever I’d try to get his opinion on stuff he would mention that the whole wedding/reception wasn’t really for HIM and he was okay with doing it for me but he wasn’t really going to have fun. He was the same as your husband in that he just haaaates parties, doesn’t like big groups at all, and in addition my husband doesn’t drink. So yea.. I was a little worried. 

But you know what? He had an AWESOME time. I put him in charge of music because that is one thing he actually cares about and he made the most kick-ass play lists and everyone had such a good time. The morning after the wedding he told me he had a great time and he was glad we did it and it was totally worth all the money we spent. 

Post # 15
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I understand him not wanting to be the center of attention butt here is reallyno way around it. Just remind him that for the better part of the reception it will be you and him dancing, eating dinner, cutting cake and then you can go to each tabel to say hi. That alone takes up a bunch of time. if he starts to feel anxious, he can always pull you aside for some alone time. On a couple’s wedding day, everyone understands when you disappear for a few moments.

Post # 16
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That sucks, but it’s possible he will end up enjoying the day more than he thinks.  To get his mind off of it, could you plan him a special day at home to celebrate your marriage?  All his favorite movies, foods etc. Or you could make it a themed day in (like watching all the Godfather movies and having Italian food).  Then when he complains about the wedding you can refocus him on the party for 2 you are planning.  

 

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