Fiance says I'm boring?

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
11802 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You can’t. You’ve already gone well above and beyond in this situation. Never marry someone with the idea of fixing him. He has to want to change and he obviously doesn’t. I’d be done.

Post # 3
Hostess
8206 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

I don’t think the problem is you being “boring” I think the problem is you live with a selfish man child who always priorities his hobbies over your needs. 

Post # 4
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

aw9412 :  I have a question, how old are you? I don’t mean for this to sound offensive, but you should go and hang out with your friends or do things that you enjoy. I think the problem is that you’re waiting around on him and wanting him to be around all the time when that’s just not who he is. If you weren’t waiting around and were independent yourself I highly doubt this would be an issue especially since you said that you and him take time some time a week for time together as a couple. Most adults in their 30s and older USUALLY have a single date night once a week because they have so much they need to get done during the week like work, gym, housekeeping, kids, hobbies etc that they aren’t up underneath each other ALL THE TIME. Now I would ask him that he would not out of the house EVERYNIGHT until 2am but if he’s in the house and he’s spending his time playing video games, then I don’t see the problem as long as he is still helping around the house etc. Thats time for you to watch a chick flick that he wouldn’t tolerate sitting through, paint your nails, read a book. 

 

Edit to add: also don’t expect him to read your mind. If you aren’t happy with that behavior all the time then tell him your designated date nights you want ALL NIGHT. Sometimes with men you literally need to spell it out. 

Post # 6
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

aw9412 :  I have to agree with 

Mrs_Beer :  here. This isn’t about you being boring, though I do think you need to invest in your own time and do stuff with friends, this is about him living like an 18 year old and being selfish. The fact he gets angry when you bring it up screams immaturity. And if you feel so alone in a relationship (I’ve been there) then that screams ‘get out’. 

How on earth can you be engaged to a boy (not a man at all) when he’s happy to be out every night until 2 am playing video games rather than wanting to be with you every night. 

Seriously Bee, this whole thing doesn’t sound good to me ans you’re worrying and being paranoid because of his actions. 

 

Post # 7
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

aw9412 :  I second the “Man child” vote. He doesn’t prioritize you at all. I seriously wouldn’t waste my therapy sessions on someone like this. Spend time focusing on yourself and find a real man. 

Post # 8
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee

He prefers to be with his friends playing video games until 2am every night than being with his own fiancée because he gets bored?? What is he 12? Does he not have a job? 

He’s immature and selfish, he’s a kid not a man, break up with him and find someone who prioritises you over their friends and video games. 

Post # 9
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

He’s obviously not ready for marriage, which doesn’t surprise me given his incredibly young age. Because of this, I am honestly not interested in giving you some kind of advice about how to “fix” this, because it shouldn’t be fixed — nor can it be. He is still too young for a serious, committed and adult relationship. It’s time you recognized and accepted that fact and let this relationship go. Sorry, Bee. 

Post # 10
Member
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Does he have a video game addiction? It makes me wonder when he says you are boring obviously you can’t compete with the graphics and sounds of video games and if he is leaving you every night to play video games that is a serious problem.

Post # 11
Member
409 posts
Helper bee

DUMP.

Post # 12
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

It’s not you being boring it’s him being bored. I bet he has video games at home does he stays home and play? No. He leaves and goes to his friends because he is bored at home and likes to hang out with his friends at their house. My ex use to do this with pool. Always out until late night hours playing pool. So we decided to get a pool table, because he would stay home lol. Well it lasted for a little bit but than it continued. You seem content with your life being at home and relaxing spending time with him. While he likes to be out and do his thing. I think it’s rather excessive that he spends so much time doing it. Just know that you have at least tried to compromise on this and it didn’t work. Maybe you two just are not compatible. 

Post # 13
Member
2918 posts
Sugar bee

Well, where to begin.

Never marry a man who doesn’t treat you better than he treats himself.

(This is actually my husband’s advice to women.)

If you take his advice you’ll steer clear of quite a lot of mean and selfish people. 

In the meantime I can say that your fiance’s behaviour is mean, selfish and unacceptable. There are much better men out there but it’s difficult to find them if you stick with this man.

It does seem to me that your fiance is actually the boring one. He could be saving the world or going on exciting adventures yet all he can manage is hours and hours of gaming. I doubt such a lifestyle is good for his waistline, his mental capacities or his work efficiency.

I always say never marry a man who treats you like an old but comfortable sock – one that he’s fond of but doesn’t put ant effort in to look after.

If he’s not prepared to put in effort to your relationship then leave.

Don’t put up with this behaviour. You deserve so much better. 

Post # 14
Hostess
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

He sounds like a selfish asshole tbh.

Post # 15
Member
3782 posts
Honey bee

Gee, your fiance sounds like such a great fun guy. Not. He’s the one who’s boring. You can do better than this guy. 

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