(Closed) Fiance still sorting out careers and jobs – will he ever figure it out?

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
652 posts
Busy bee

@magentasky:  well what about yourself? You have a degree right? There’s no rule nowadays that women cant be the bread winner or have to rely on the husband for financial support. As a matter of fact, nowadays it’s hard for a family to live on one income. Why not make a career for yourself? As soon as he sees you excel, his ego has no choice but to force himself to do better.

what is his degree in? 

Post # 4
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I dated a guy who changed what he wanted to be 10 times a month. Two years in, I found out that he was happy in his overnight job stocking shelves, and that’s what he planned on doing forever.

We broke up not long after that…


Post # 5
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@magentasky:  I guess my biggest fear is: will he EVER figure it out?

I sort of have this with my Darling Husband. We are OK financially so it is not the money I’m worried about but rather if he will ever be happy with his career, it is an area of his life that makes him depressed at times. I wish he could find a job/career/business that he likes.

One thing you should count on is the fact that this will likely delay any plans you have to marry, start a family ect, you probably won’t get a timeline from him since it is impossible to predict how long it will take for him to get it together.

All I can say is hang in there and definately work hard on your own career! This could swing both ways, you may end up being the major provider or he may eventually pull through giving you the option to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.

Post # 6
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@magentasky:  As someone in the medical profession, my advice would be for you to not let him go to medical school unless he is literally 110% sure he wants to do that for the rest of his life. You end up in hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt usually, work long hours to the point where it can consume your entire life, and the future of the profession is somehwat uncertain now with all these medicare reform ideas up in the air. So yeah, unless he’s totally willing to do medicine and nothing but medicine forever, definitely don’t let him go that route or he (and likely you too) will be guaranteed miserable. If he’s expressing curiosity now, he could volunteer in a medical setting of some sort like an emergency room, in an outpatient office, or as a candy striper (if that’s what they’re still called?) on inpatient units. That would give him a little more idea of if he’d like it or not.

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