Fiance stood up to his mom!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
47172 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

bassbee:  Good for him. I doubt that it is really about  wanting her family there. More likely she has this vision of the “perfect family” and “perfect family events” and has not accepted the fact that she doesn’t have that. Most of us don’t.

Post # 4
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My mom cried when I told her we were going to have a small wedding.  2 of my brothers had previously gotten married and they did small weddings.  She’s been to her friends (since highschool) kids weddings and would pay to recriporcate.  Hubs and I are introverts and didn’t want to do that.  Heck, we only invited 2 friends each, I didn’t want to invite my mom’s 5 besties and their husbands.

She got over it, but I think she was less upset because I was sympathetic…plus I refered to my brother who wasn’t yet married :p  Poor guy,he’ll have a huge wedding by the looks of it.


We’re married now but I think she’s still sad a bit, but both of us realize its her problem not ours.

Post # 6
4038 posts
Honey bee

julies1949:  +1


Yep, my Mother-In-Law did the same. Wrote 2 nasty e-mails, trying to get estranged relatives invited (we only hosted 95 guests, so we just ignored her). In one, she said “I think weddings should be a time for family;” in the other “weddings should draw families together.”

Of course, she didn’t contribute one cent. She left after the cake was served – missing the last 1.5 hours, of the reception. I was never more happy to see the back of anyone going out the door, than her’s.

Unfortunately, I don’t think my husband, or anyone else, has ever stood up to her, so congrats to you and your husband to be.



Post # 8
1321 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

bassbee:  This is so perfect! Not only is it so awesome that your Fiance stood up to her, it is just a ridiculously valid point…..I wish we had used that argument in all of our guest list discussions with parents!!!

Post # 9
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Good for him!   You two are a unified front and that’s great!

 My family is far from conventional and it’s all coming to a head lately with exactly 3 months to go. Everyone has a vision of what it should be and who should be there, what role they should play — I’ve been told that it’s their “right” to be one thing or another. No — your wedding is not a platform for folks to have what they want– without contributing a dime!!  You really start to see how parents become manipulative in these situations! 

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