(Closed) Fiancé taking 3 week vacation without me… Thoughts?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If it were a vacation with a friend it would be more concerning but visiting family? 3 weeks is long but he hasn’t seen them in years and probably will not be able to visit them again for a long time. Money does sound like a concern. It sounds like other concerns as well.

Post # 3
Member
888 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Umm. It’s his family. He hasn’t seen these people in years, he sees you all the time. He finally has the means to visit them, don’t rain on his parade. He’s planning on spending his LIFE with you. 3 weeks is nothing.

Grow up.

Post # 4
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I wouldn’t be upset because he’s going to visit his family and did invite you.  If he was going to Vegas or something for three weeks, then ya I’d be annoyed.  My Fiance and I have travelled without each other plenty of times, just Skype and enjoy the bed to yourself for a bit.  It sounds like he’s really excited to see his family, and I wouldn’t sour that for him.  Sounds like it was really important to him, and now he’s got the financial means to make it happen.

Post # 6
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

It’s family. He has not seen them in years. Wish him well and have him bring you some cool souvenirs back.

Post # 7
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Hmmmmmmm

Post # 9
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

It is going to happen whether you like it or not. Pull up your big girl panties, plan fun events with friends, go do stuff he doesn’t like. You are going to miss him, and it is okay that you are a little resentful, because you are human. However you also want to be his partner and support him, the way you would want to be supported. This is life. it is just 22 days, not a tour of duty in Afganistan.

 

I, myself have made two last minute 12 day trips in the last month because my Aunt on the otherwise of the country is gravely ill. My guy booked the flights. He misses me, but understands that life is life. And we have a wedding that is literally two months away. 

Post # 10
Member
3434 posts
Sugar bee

How does he have that much vacation time if he just got a new job?

Post # 12
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

Can you go for part of the time and meet him? Maybe you can’t do 3 weeks, but 7 or 10 days?

I wouldn’t be upset, personally. Since being married, I’ve taken 10+ trips without DH. Not all were fun vacations, but still needed to be done. I would try hard to figure out a way to join him for part of the time. But, it’s his family. You’ll miss him, but at the end if the day, there are worse trips he could be taking. 

Facetime or Skype will make it a little easier, and he can find a Starbucks for free wifi to call home on FaceTime audio or something. 

I’d try your best to be happy for him, sounds like this trip is long over due.

Post # 14
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’d personally be fine with it. He’s visiting family new hasn’t seen in years. I’m sure he’s really missed being able to see them. Maybe he wants to make sure he gets to spend some time with his grandparents. And it isn’t as if he didn’t invite you to come with him. You don’t have to go the entire length of the trip. If it’s possible, why not just go for a week? 

I can understand why you’re upset, but he’s going to be spending the rest of his life with you, and it seems that chances to see his extended family are few and far between.

As for him being okay spending that length of time away from you, I think that’s different for every person. I adore my Fiance, and while I’d certainly miss him, I’d be fine with him being gone that length of time, especially if he was visiting family he hadn’t seen in a long time. But we’re also long distance so time apart is something I’m used to, so that kind of colors my perspective.

 ETA: people respond based on the information you provide. If you think a piece of information is vital to painting the whole picture (like the fact that you two don’t see each other all the time) try including that in your first post. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  MiniMeow.
Post # 15
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
peaches332 :  I’ve read your updates and you’re coming across really defensive and clingy.  He’s going to visit family.  Nothing you can do but wish him a good time.  It is not a vacation, he’s reconnecting with loved ones that he hadn’t seen in years (as per your OP).  You still see him more.  Grandparents do not get any younger.  It’s not the same as when you offered to pay for a vacation, because this means so much more.  I’ll repeat, don’t sour it.  My Fiance went to England for two weeks to see family, and we didn’t go on vacation that year either.

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