- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2016
I have read all of your post and updates and all I can say is, please leave. He doesn’t have to be beating the shit out of you or anything crazy for it to be okay that you leave. Your relationship should not be this hard, to use your phrase. Last year my then boyfriend (now FI) pretty much did not see me from about January to August, unless it was for a couple of minutes after he got home from work or class.
I was my grandfather’s caretaker and was driving hours to take him to the doctor and so forth. At the end of April, I ended up spending 4 days in the hospital with my grandfather. And also going back and forth to another hospital because FI’s grandfather was also in there at the same time. Only 2 weeks later, I left to study abroad for the summer. About 3 weeks after I returned home from studying abroad, my grandfather went into the hospital again, for weeks this time. I literally slept on my FI’s stepdad’s couch for weeks, only coming home to see Fiance for a little bit when I needed more clothes. Fiance never once complained that he wasn’t seeing me enough, that I was being selfish, or anything of that nature. In fact, I was the one crying that I wasn’t seeing him enough, saying I felt selfish and basically just being an emotional mess. Fiance was there to let me cry and say whatever I needed him to. We ended up going through the worst year of our lives in 2014. My grandfather passed away the day after we got engaged, as we were on a plane home. FI’s grandfather passed away 2 months later. We cried on each other’s shoulder and came out stronger. That is what a partner does. You do not have a partner. You have a selfish asshole for a Fiance.