Fiance wants a prenup encouraged by his mother. Am sad and confused :(

posted 7 days ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

chitownyogini :  do you really not see what the problem is? Surely the reasonableness is over shadowed by him saying he thinks it’s likely they will divorce. I feel that puts a spin on it. There is very little need to read past that! 

Post # 32
Member
623 posts
Busy bee

Your relationship is a disaster. You need couples counseling before continuing towards the altar. 

1. You fight unfairly by storming out.

2. You (I’m guessing) don’t feel comfortable enough with your Fiance that you can be honest with him about your own finances. You should NEVER gone into debt trying to keep up with your partner. You should have been able to say, “hey, if we move in together and I’m going to pay 50% of the rent, then my budget is $X” instead of just sucking it up silently. 

3. Even though Fiance has a family business, his Personal Finances should be PERSONAL. His mom should not know what he is spending his money on, just that he is taking a salary or draw of “$x” from the business. 

4. Your Fiance thinks your relationship has a high chance of divorce. 

 

If you can resolve those major issues, then, yes, a family business is the perfect example of when a pre-nup is a good idea. 

Post # 33
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee

There’s several unclear issues here from a legal perspective, so don’t go off of the advice here if you end up down the prenup road and are negotiating one.

For example, where is this business based? If it is in Greece, the UK court can say whatever it wants with regard to your marriage if that is where you both reside at such time of divorce, but I’m not sure if any UK court can realistically tell a business not based in the UK and non-citizens/residents of the UK to do XYZ with their business shares/money. It sounds like his family is in Greece, so you may need a lawyer with the proper knowledge to better guide you here.

Post # 34
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

 jillsgills :  I do see the problem. My response is simply regarding the prenup problem she was asking about.

I’m not going to pass judgment on her relationship or tell her to leave him because, let’s face it, I don’t think that the opinion of Internet strangers on whether to call off a marriage is going to carry much weight.

Is he a jerk? Yes. Is he borderline abusive? Probably. But his reasoning for wanting a prenup is valid regardless of how he went about it or what was said. 

Post # 36
Member
2718 posts
Sugar bee

sablescorpion22 :  +1 on all of this, but especially the bus driver comment.

An elitist who looks down on people for their profession. What the heck is wrong with a bus driver? 

Post # 38
Member
54 posts
Worker bee

jillsgills :  You know, especially after reading the follow-up post my GET OUT NOW alarm is going off.  Posed with this prenup in a healthy relationship I would sign no question; it’s reasonable and fair, but combined with the unstable relationship and blatent verbal abuse OP stated in the follow-up post it just seems like OP is safer to end the relationship.

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