- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
I have been engaged for 3 years now, I finished college, and now we can begin planning our wedding. We have a difference in ideas for what our wedding will be like. My Fiancé would like a super private wedding where nobody is invited, I would like a small wedding with the closest family and friends.
He says my parents never supported us being together since he is an atheist, and my family is very religious. They have never said anything to him directly. They have made me feel guilty for non christian choices I’ve made such as spending the night with him (etc.) , or not wanting to attend church every week. There is always a prayer at any meal, and talk about atheists being immoral or cold hearted people. So when I talk to him about these things, he takes them personally. I wish I kept these things to myself. >_> He says my parents are fake around him, and he doesn’t ever want anything to do with them . When I mention him in conversation around the family, it always feels off. Whatever I say he does is never as amusing or received as well as a story about any other friend, so I can sense it. When I confront anyone about not approving of him, they deny it, and say they want to get to know him more because he is their future son in law. They talk about wedding planning excitedly, and I feel confused.
I told him he should have a big awkward talk with them about all these issues so they can be resolved. He says he won’t do this, he feels nothing would change, and I don’t know if I can deal with this in the long run. I am very close with my family, and would like both of our families invited. I don’t want our wedding day to be a symbol of a severence of ties with my family. We have gone back and forth on this issue, and it always causes a boat load of drama which I hate.
I agreed to have the private wedding once, which felt like giving in. I looked into prices and other details, and found it more trouble than it was worth. He then agreed to have a wedding with family, and I picked a location, talked to the pastor and photographer. We were set on having this wedding in July. Now, he was recently offended by my mom saying I’m a bad influence to my younger siblings for sleeping at his house, and he suddenly decided that this wedding is going to be private or else. He said he realized he agreed to having family there before because he was doing this for other people, and it’s just about us, he’s not marrying my family, he’s marrying me. Yikers. help.