(Closed) Fiance wants his "best friend" who he used to be in love with, to be in wedding

posted 4 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 62
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8019 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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simplyshort :  How long ago did this high school crush occur?

Post # 63
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9755 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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simplyshort :  Did he tell you her comments about not liking you and how he could do better or is this something she said directly to you?

If he told you, what was his reasoning?

Post # 65
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13815 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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simplyshort :  That’s not what you said in your OP. 

“So when we first started dating, he was very honest about viewing her as “the one that got away” and that he occasionally thought of what “could have been” with her”

And even if that was true, I have no idea why you’d tolerate someone so overtly disrespectful to you in your lives let alone your wedding party. 

Post # 68
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8019 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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simplyshort :  When you described it as an adolescent high school crush I had the sense that it wasn’t a recent occurrence but based upon the responses you’ve received I believe I was in the minority. 

One of my best friends in high school professed his love and tried to stick his tongue down my throat at a party when I was home visiting from college. I pushed him off, it was awkward for a few months, we remained friends. When I married he gave a reading at my wedding, when he and his wife married they asked me to give a reading at their wedding. A couple of decades later we’re still friends.

Post # 69
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m glad a couple others pointed this out already – your mother’s comment about pictures was out of line. How could it be possible that any woman would be prettier than the bride on the wedding day? Like whatever you or she look like any other day, you will outshine her and all others that day/night. 

Anyway, Kristin isn’t the problem here. It makes sense that she would say that about you if your *FI* would only talk to her about the rocky stuff of your relationship. Depending on how bad things got or how he spun the facts, she may have a pretty bad mental image of you and the relationship. 

The problem is your *FI* telling you she said those things without sharing everything he has told her about you. It just put the two of you against each other, and that’s not cool. As for the wedding, if he is truly okay with not having her in the wedding, she can be a guest and that is that.

Post # 70
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

This sounds like the plot to my best friends wedding with Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz 

Post # 71
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13815 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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simplyshort :   “I thought by saying, when we started dating, it made it clear it was in the past, I am sorry that was not the case.”

Do you mean when you started dating he told you he USED to consider her the girl who got away and that he USED to wonder “what might have been?” If so, I’d consider it distinction with only a minor difference. Why did he feel the need to say that at all?  

Post # 72
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1033 posts
Bumble bee

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simplyshort :  I’d let her be an usher but not in the wedding party. 

Post # 73
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736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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simplyshort :  LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!!!

 

Post # 74
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10223 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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simplyshort :  

So, which is it, Bee?  Is Kristin a problem or not?  Your updates are confusing.

If everything is so blissfully solid now, and you absolutely trust your fiancé, and everything that happened was waaaayyy back when you first started dating, then what was the point of this thread?

Definitely, invite Kristen to your wedding.  Have her in the wedding party.  Hell, bring her on the honeymoon.

Post # 75
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8019 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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weddingmaven :  Based on her updates it appears he didn’t say this to her, she snooped and saw a conversation he had with Kristen. “I snooped and saw the convo.”

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