Post # 1
My Fiance and me know each other 4 years now and he thinks its time we move together. He owns a big house (3500 sf) and i live 30 min away in an apartment near my work.
I have 2 lovely cats that i WILL NEVER EVER give up but he says he is allergic and so are his family members who frequently stay at his house. they really are – one time a neighbours cat came into the house and they were all itching and crying.
I rather keep on living in an apartment than giving up my cats. They are both indoor cats their whole life and never go out,
am i crazy for giving up my Fi for cats? what would you do??? HELP
Post # 3
Um. It’s a package deal. Pay for his allegra if he needs it. Some of the over the counter daily allergy medications are really inexpensive. (Good friend of mine opted for this when he had a roommate with a cat move in. It worked great! )
ETA: I consider pets to be a lifetime obligation that you chose to take on. Like adopting a child. You can’t just give them back so you have to come to a compromise.
Post # 4
I would never give up my fur-babies. Is there any way to keep them to a cat room? Or a cat floor? Some place that is vacuumed religiously and allows both of you to have what you want?
My sister is allergic to dogs but the ‘dog floor’ has helped immensely. We scrub the floor with a Dyson Animal before she comes even though she never goes on that floor. That way there is no hair on the furniture, or in the sheets, or our clothes and all she has to do is take a Claritin.
Post # 5
I wouldnt give up my babies:/ I dont know much about allergies but hes gonna have to deal with it….
Post # 6
@beeintraining: Keeping cats cooped up is much more cruel than giving them away.
@maxfluffy: Are they indoor, or outdoor cats?
Post # 7
@maxfluffy: Your cats are too cute! I have no advice on this one as my judgement is too clouded on my love for cats:) 🙂
Post # 8
My DH knew going into the relationship that my animals and I were a package deal. There is no way the relationship would have progressed had he not understood that they were here first lol. He also has a lot of allergies and after taking allergy shots for a few years is able to manage them with over the counter meds. I definitely would not move in with your partner if he were unwilling to accept that you and your pets come together.
Post # 9
Get them used to bathing. When I got my cat the guy I was dating at the time was allergic so I made sure to get her used to taking baths, it takes a little extra care with older cats though. My ex rarely had allergic reactions around her and only took allergy meds a few times (we lived together in a place 1/3 that size).
Post # 10
@maxfluffy: I almost had to give up my dog and cat. I cried for weeks about it. Fortunately, I was able to bring my puppy with me. He is my child.
The cat was given to someone by my ex without my permission. I’m still sad about it, but am thankful I got my dog.
Post # 11
Nope nope nope. My SO is allergic to my dog. Too bad. He stays with me for life. He doesn’t have to pet your cats, and just keep your cats away from the bedroom so they don’t snuggle up in the covers or pillows.
Post # 12
thank you for all replies ! As i said i NEVER give my cats up. i had them since they were babies. i guess i will be renewing my lease….
i cannot imagine living without cats
Post # 13
I have one dog and I am getting a second this weekend. My SO knew that he could not separate me from my dog for more then the length of a weekend. He also knows that I will choose the dogs over him any day.
But have you thought about what you going to do when you get married? Are you going to get rid of the cats? Is he willing to take medicine everyday?
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - Garden
My FI was allergic to cats too, but we got our fur babies anyway with the intention of being super careful about cleaning the carpets, couches etc. After about a month his allergies just went away. We think the exposure must have helped.
Post # 15
I know this might sound weird but I’m allergic to *other peoples’* pets (itchy, watery eyes, sneezing, no fun). HOWEVER, I love pets, and I always seem to be able to get used to my own for some reason. When I lived with my parents, I was usually fine with my dog and cat there. Now that I’m moved out and the FI and myself have gotten 2 kitties of our own, they don’t even bother me. but my parents’ pets (the ones I was fine with before!) kill me now if I don’t take a pill before visiting!
It might seem crazy, but maybe your FI will be able to *get used* to your furbabies like I seem to get used to my own pets? Also, bathing our cats when my allergies flare up usually fixes me up again, but they’re nice about it since we’ve bathed them since they were tiny. Your babies might not be so welcoming to baths 🙂
Post # 16
@maxfluffy: I would never give mine up either. You are not alone. My SO knows that I would choose my pets over him too haha. I’m allergic to cats, but I deal with it! And my cat sleeps on my pillows. My friends boyfriend is hyper allergic too, but his has settled down after a while and he now loves her cats too. I think after a bit of exposure it can calm down.
Your FI can take antihistamine and be proactive in cleaning and washing his hands, I’m sure. When I move in with my boyfriend (eventually) I will be bringing my cat and for my SO, who has never had any pets other than a mouse, it will be a big culture shock. He is slightly allergic too, but there are ways of overcoming it that don’t involve giving your babies away.