- 4 months ago
- Wedding: February 2019
It seems like there are some misconceptions about prenups here. They are absolutely not limited to just pre-marital assets. Ours clearly states what will be considered marital property and what won’t be.
To me the issue isn’t the prenup but as you’ve said what is in it and how he is going about it. My fiance and I had been talking about it since early in our relationship so when the document was sent to his lawyer there was very little to discuss because it was exactly what we had discussed and what we’d collectively decided was fair. And we know that a post-nuptial/marital agreement is out there if our situation changes and we both trust each other to continue to arrive at agreements that are fair for both of us. I can’t imagine putting things in the document that were new to my husband or acting so juvenile if my partner didn’t agree. I can also say I think our agreement would be very, very different it we planned to have children for all the reasons that have been mentioned.
I think you really need to take a step back and think about everything. I know you say you jointly arrived at the decision for you to be a stay at home parent but from what you describe it really sounds like your husband’s idea and you went along with it. For his part I can’t imagine someone asking someone else to make a sacrifice that they themselves wouldn’t make. The way you describe it just sounds selfish and presumptuous as if he doesn’t value your training and experience as much as his own. And it certainly doesn’t sound like he values the unpaid labor of a stay at home mom based on the ‘value’ he has assigned to it. I also think the guitar incident is worth a pause. I know you say it is out of character, but do you have a lot of past experience handling disagreements with each other? Instances when he doesn’t get his own way? Not every couple has experience managing disagreements before marriage and sometimes there can be a rude awakening about how the other party communicates.