Fiance wants me to wear Ex's ring

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 61
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Ummm no. I would feel extremely awkward wearing things meant for his ex. Why not sell the items so you can buy something for YOU!

Post # 62
6106 posts
Bee Keeper

Are there any updates OP? Did you talk to him?

Post # 64
375 posts
Helper bee

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level01fiance :  I agree with all the previous replies 100%, but my question just as a red flag would be why on earth was he holding onto his ex-fiances wedding gown and veil for 4+ years!? Paid for it or not–this is just weird and it would creep me out. 

Post # 65
6798 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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seraphina :  because he apparently shoved it in a drawer to ignore?  I can totally see people doing osmething like that.  Upset about the breakup, don’t feel like dealing with it right then, can’t be bothered later.  There is so much in our house that we’re too lazy to deal with.  I can’t believe anyone thinks that’s a red flag – it’s not like he’s wearing it around his neck or stashed in his wallet.

All’s well that ends well though.  Apparently he feels like a doofus and problem is solved.

ETA: doofus #2 is me; that was about the dress, not the ring, lol.  Weird but I can still see it happening.  I’ve got a couple of trial bridesmaids dresses that I swore I’d sell as soon as I realized the return fees were ridiculous. It’s been 3+ years.

Post # 67
972 posts
Busy bee

He is insane to ask you such things. Get your own dress and find a simple ring on ebay or something. The ring doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. I would not be happy wearing another womens ring and dress. 

Post # 68
145 posts
Blushing bee

That’s really weird, to be honest. I wouldn’t be comfortable with any of those things. I also think it’s a little strange he kept the dress, veil, etc.

Post # 69
3 posts
  • Wedding: October 2021

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level01fiance :  I don’t know about you, but that ring symbolizes the love he has for you. This is more like, “damn I spent a lot of money on this, let me find someone to wear it.”

Post # 70
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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level01fiance :  It’s weird, but if your gut tells you he is one of those “bury and forget about it” types plus a few sprinkles of frugal there’s nothing to worry about.  If he wasn’t over his ex… why the hell would he want to see YOU in her wedding dress, veil and ring!?  He would be “insane” to torture himself like that.  If he really wanted her, he’d be cheating on you in some way with her and hoarding that shit for safe keeping, waiting for her return and not offering it to you.  It’s more likely he is not skilled in dealing with emotions and recognizing the sentimental value in these things at the same depth most of us on this forum do.  Come on people… 

Post # 71
14013 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m glad he didn’t give you a hard time, but something about the way you tip toe around him bothers me, as does the fact he was so dense in the first place. If he’s this cheap or clueless I find it hard to believe it’s a totally isolated incident. I hope you have your eyes open. 

My guess is someone else read him the riot act and that’s why he already knew that what he did was insensitive and is now embarrassed. 

Speaking of that, if he knew, what was he waiting for? If you never brought it up, would he? 

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