(Closed) fiance wants me to work for a company I hate

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
901 posts
Busy bee

My first thought was to spare yourself the headache and just say you’ve applied, lol.

Post # 4
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it’s fine to stick to your guns…but I also think you should give yourself a deadline.  If you don’t have a job by THIS DATE, you will apply to the jobs available at UPMC.  

Post # 5
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

A job is a job, and money is necessary for a lot of things. I would rather have a job and contribute more $$ to my family while continuing to search for something that is both financially and mentally/emotionally fulfilling, than not have a job just for the sake of my principals. Principals are good and all, but not when they interfere with contributing to my family’s long-term financial stability and goals. I think this may be a situation where I say “put on your big girl panties and deal”. Sometimes we have to do things that we don’t like. It’s part of being a grown-up.

Post # 6
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@peachacid:  I agree. I would just tell him I am not applying to that place unless I have to, and not to send me anymore job openings there until I’ve been unemployed X amount of time.

Also you could just work there and continue looking and leave that job as soon as you get another one.

Post # 7
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

So wait – does he work there? He might not really understand why it’s ok for him to work there, but not you. And in all honesty – you can’t blame an entire organization for the mistakes of what was most likely one incompetant person.

Post # 8
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Are you complaining/ talking/ whining alot about being unemployed? If you are this could be his way of get the damn job a shut up already! If you ARE talking about job hunts and about being unemployed I suggest you stop and see if his prompting about this company is related to how much you talk about it.

If on the other hand you’re not talking about it much my opinion might be unpopular but I am for fibbing- imply that you’re applying… when he sends you the link say thanks honey.

Post # 9
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@peachacid:  +1.

While I understand your frustration with UPMC, at some point you are going to need a job.

My parents live in the Pittsburgh area and the last time I was there visiting they were talking about a bunch of new energy companies being started. Have you looked to see if they have started listing jobs yet? I’m sorry I can’t remember the name of the company…

Post # 10
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i was brought up and taught that you just do what you gotta do sometimes.  Even if its for a short time.  my dad has worked many shit jobs and jobs he really didn’t want to but he did it for the time being because it was more important to provide for his family and he sucked it up.


Post # 11
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If you work for them, you can help change it from the inside.

You working or not working there doesn’t change the fact that medicine is a business in the USA. BUT, you do have some control over how the area you work in is run. My husband manages the electronic medical records system for one of the top hosiptals in the country, and loves that he has the ability to make information and test results as easily accessible as possible so that doctors can make their decisions more easily and with more accuracy. He was able to cut away a lot of the red tape and inaccessibility of physical records.

Is there a particular area you’d like to change? Maybe focus on the good you could do instead of the evil you think they are doing?

Post # 13
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Maybe he knows since they hire a lot you might be able to actually get an interview/job. Hes probably just trying to help.

Post # 14
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

it’s not like you’re giving them money,  it would be the other way around. get a job there to tide you over until you can find something better, and steal lots of office supplies while you’re at it!

Post # 15
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can understand both sides of this issue.  I can certainly understand your strong feelings against working there, and I’m 100% on your side about that.  However, your FI’s standpoint is equally valid in wanting you to find work.  He’s trying to look out for your best interest as a couple, as I know you know.

This is a hard one.  I guess if worse comes to worse you may be forced into eventually interviewing and possibly accepting a position with UPMC.  

But I would never want to work for an organization I despise, and my heart really goes out to you.

I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed, saying prayers, burning incense and sprinkling lots of happy employment fairy dust in hopes you get a job that doesn’t compromise your values and ideals. 

Post # 16
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lovekiss:  I agree. Sorry, OP, but sometimes we have to do things we are against because our family is depending on us. I feel for you and your parents with the horrible experience your mom had, and yeah obviously no one’s going to tell you to go work directly with the people who caused that, or that you couldn’t look for another job while you’re there. But it is a huge organization, and to rule out all the jobs there when your family needs the income and there are so many good jobs available there wouldn’t sit right with me if I was your Fiance either.

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