(Closed) Fiance wants to attend his friend's wedding alone

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
688 posts
Busy bee

I am not sure if I would be “paranoid” per se but I would be hella pissed. 

Post # 3
Member
2307 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

I donno, I wouldn’t care if my fi wanted to go to a wedding alone if it was all his old mates and I wouldn’t really know anyone but him. If he’s gonna get wild with his boys, I’d rather stay home and do something I might enjoy more. That said, we have a really high level of trust in our relationship. I have no fear that he would do anything to threaten the relationship.

If you trust him, let him have a boys weekend. Have a movie night with your friends or whatever. Do something fun.

 

Post # 4
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

yah, that wouldn’t fly in this house … How rude, mean, and a little fishy…. Paranoid not so much as pissed like pp said not only for not wanting me to go but, for whatever he plans to do or say that you aren’t welcome to be part of. 

Post # 5
Member
638 posts
Busy bee

 

Um….what?

All his other college buddies WILL bring their wives and GFs, but he doesn’t want to bring you.

The fuck?

Post # 6
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Yeah that’s strange, you’re right to feel upset about it.

Post # 7
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

So weird that THEIR women will be there, but your fiance doesn’t want you there for some reason? I myself would be suspicious and paranoid, but that’s just me. I would really recommend talking more with him about this if it’s bothering you, and you have a right to know more IMO. Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
2010 posts
Buzzing bee

Hold up, if everyone else will have their SOs with them, then why would it be an issue for you to attend? They can’t all be college buddies who go way back. One of the other wives/FIs/girlfriends might be someone with a similar personality to you and you guys might click, he can’t know that.

I’d be offended if my SO said something like this to me. Fortunately that will probably never happen because he rarely even wants to go to dinner alone with his mates even though I encourage it because he says “we’re a package deal – you’re me and I’m you”.

Honestly, I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like he has a different side to him that he doesn’t want you to see (or you don’t even know about). Perhaps he is the wildest one out of them all and he thinks it will make you uncomfortable?

There is absolutely no reason for you not to attend. Even if you don’t fit in, how hard is it to smile, nod along, make a bit of small talk and enjoy the rest of the wedding (you know, the most important part)? He needs to give you a little more credit.

My cousin just read your post over my shoulder and she thinks he has an old college girlfriend he might want to catch up with without you around.

Either way, it’s just weird. If it was a night out with just the boys then I’d say it’s no big deal but this is a wedding with other SOs attending and you will be having your own wedding only a month after. I’m pretty sure you’re a team now.

Post # 9
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

Yeah, no. Not cool. That would not fly with me. 

His excuses are invalid. People take their significant others to old friends’ weddings all the time. Definitely fishy. 

If anything, he should wanna show you off to all of his friends so they can see what a great catch you are! 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m generally of the view that we’re still individuals and not stuck at the hip despite being married but this does not sit well with me at all. 

I think it’s very rude he wants to deliberately exclude your attendance for no valid reason, sorry bit it’s just a wedding so how “wild”  can it be?

i think you need to tell him how you’re feeling 

Post # 12
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

Hmmm. Does he have an ex that might be there or anything that would make him uncomfortable?

Post # 13
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

View original reply
ladykatie82 That is messed up. I wouldn’t want to go anymore!

Post # 14
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee

 

ladykatie82:  Do you know if he got a plus one? I would not be paranoid but  that would piss me off. How are ou gonna say you can’t go because you won’t fit in. Who the fuck cares. Let you decide if you want to go. If you were invited than you should have a say. Now if there was no plus one than that is another story. That is very rude of him. Why the hell is he marrying you if he is worried about how you act and people judging you and not fitting in. My Fiance does not party at all but I wouldn’t exclude him. I would give him the option.

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