Post # 1
My fiance has a college friend who is getting married about a month before us. He got his invitation in the mail the other day and said he wanted to go by himself because it would be his old buddies like old times and they would be kind f wild and I wouldn’t fit. He told me they would have their wives, girlfriends, and fiances with them. Should I be concerned or am I just paranoid? My face went white when he told me and he was like, “Oh no. I said something wrong!” Would this bother anyone else or just me?
Post # 2
I am not sure if I would be “paranoid” per se but I would be hella pissed.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
I donno, I wouldn’t care if my fi wanted to go to a wedding alone if it was all his old mates and I wouldn’t really know anyone but him. If he’s gonna get wild with his boys, I’d rather stay home and do something I might enjoy more. That said, we have a really high level of trust in our relationship. I have no fear that he would do anything to threaten the relationship.
If you trust him, let him have a boys weekend. Have a movie night with your friends or whatever. Do something fun.
Post # 4
yah, that wouldn’t fly in this house … How rude, mean, and a little fishy…. Paranoid not so much as pissed like pp said not only for not wanting me to go but, for whatever he plans to do or say that you aren’t welcome to be part of.
Post # 5
All his other college buddies WILL bring their wives and GFs, but he doesn’t want to bring you.
Post # 6
Yeah that’s strange, you’re right to feel upset about it.
Post # 7
So weird that THEIR women will be there, but your fiance doesn’t want you there for some reason? I myself would be suspicious and paranoid, but that’s just me. I would really recommend talking more with him about this if it’s bothering you, and you have a right to know more IMO. Good luck!
Post # 8
Hold up, if everyone else will have their SOs with them, then why would it be an issue for you to attend? They can’t all be college buddies who go way back. One of the other wives/FIs/girlfriends might be someone with a similar personality to you and you guys might click, he can’t know that.
I’d be offended if my SO said something like this to me. Fortunately that will probably never happen because he rarely even wants to go to dinner alone with his mates even though I encourage it because he says “we’re a package deal – you’re me and I’m you”.
Honestly, I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like he has a different side to him that he doesn’t want you to see (or you don’t even know about). Perhaps he is the wildest one out of them all and he thinks it will make you uncomfortable?
There is absolutely no reason for you not to attend. Even if you don’t fit in, how hard is it to smile, nod along, make a bit of small talk and enjoy the rest of the wedding (you know, the most important part)? He needs to give you a little more credit.
My cousin just read your post over my shoulder and she thinks he has an old college girlfriend he might want to catch up with without you around.
Either way, it’s just weird. If it was a night out with just the boys then I’d say it’s no big deal but this is a wedding with other SOs attending and you will be having your own wedding only a month after. I’m pretty sure you’re a team now.
Post # 9
Yeah, no. Not cool. That would not fly with me.
His excuses are invalid. People take their significant others to old friends’ weddings all the time. Definitely fishy.
If anything, he should wanna show you off to all of his friends so they can see what a great catch you are! 🙂
Post # 10
I’m generally of the view that we’re still individuals and not stuck at the hip despite being married but this does not sit well with me at all.
I think it’s very rude he wants to deliberately exclude your attendance for no valid reason, sorry bit it’s just a wedding so how “wild” can it be?
i think you need to tell him how you’re feeling
Post # 11
What would you guys do if you were me? I mean, I was like, ready to dump him, I was so disturbed. After he saw how upset I was, he told me he wanted me to go, actually. But I said, that I would have to think about that. Seriously, I do not like going places I am not really wanted. His friends even put that he could bring a guest on his invite! It’s just him that doesn’t want me there. 🙁 Something seems seriously wrong and I cannot pull it out of him what it is.
Post # 12
Hmmm. Does he have an ex that might be there or anything that would make him uncomfortable?
Post # 13
That is messed up. I wouldn’t want to go anymore!
Post # 14
ladykatie82: Do you know if he got a plus one? I would not be paranoid but that would piss me off. How are ou gonna say you can’t go because you won’t fit in. Who the fuck cares. Let you decide if you want to go. If you were invited than you should have a say. Now if there was no plus one than that is another story. That is very rude of him. Why the hell is he marrying you if he is worried about how you act and people judging you and not fitting in. My Fiance does not party at all but I wouldn’t exclude him. I would give him the option.
Post # 15
Yep, there was a plus one. 🙁