(Closed) Fiance wants to give 20% of life insurance benefits to his sister

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you asked him why he wants to do this?  Maybe he feels like he is responsible for her.

I would just make sure that there is enough of the life insurance for you in case something happens and he doesn’t live a long healthy life.

Post # 4
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We both have a portion of our life insurance going to our niece and nephew.

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think it is a very nice gesture on his part, and I would commend him for it. Once she is done with college and has a job, his benefits can always be changed.

Post # 6
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

What’s so strange about it? Maybe they are close. Maybe he feels responsible for her if something happens to him. Before I had my daughter, my life insurance was going to my mom and sisters. 

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If nobody else is providing for her, it kinda makes sense. My Fiance has an entire policy for his sister b/c she is his only sibling and she is finishing up medical school. He plans on changing the beneficiary once she is into residency and making her own money he plans to split the beneficiaries on that policy. I have a separate policy that’s in my name so it doesn’t bother me.

Post # 9
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@kelly105: If you don’t like the idea, I would talk to him about it.  Personally, I wouldn’t want to enable someone who is bad with money and keep bailing them out.  Sometimes they need to really learn what happens if you screw up with money and don’t have someone to bail you out.

Post # 10
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@kelly105: Sit down and talk to him about it. In the end though, it’s his decision to make. I don’t get what there is to be put off by it. Are you upset that you would only get 80% is he dies? 

Post # 11
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Maybe he wants to help her because he knows she is irresponsible with money. I know this might not make a lot of sense to us, but if it’s his little sister, maybe he realizes she’s screwing her future over financially and wants to leave her something in case she needs help after he’s gone. Just be honest with him about how you feel and talk through it; start your marriage off with ultimate honesty, not pent-up bitterness or frustration.

Post # 13
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you should be quite proud to find a man who cares for his family this way. He obviously wants to look out for her and has a caring soul. Be grateful.

Post # 14
Member
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@kelly105: I completely understand where you are coming from, though, so it’s not that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I was raised to take care of myself and be smart with my money, so if my fiance did the same thing, I would be a bit put off, as well. It’s not that he shouldn’t help someone who may need it, but if you’re living frugally, I can see where you wouldn’t feel it’s fair, so it’s not really about the money. It’s just the principle of it, right? Just be totally honest with him about how you feel. I guess my explanation of where he may be coming from is more to ease your mind that he’s not necessarily trying to defend her, but worried about what may happen to her. 

Post # 15
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My brother has my mother and I as beneficiaries on his life insurance. He is in the military and he told us that if anything were to happen to him he would want us to be be taken care of. I am married now and wouldn’t really need it but it’s just the kind of relationship my brother and I have. If he one day has kids or a wife and wants to change it, that’s fine. I don’t really think it’s a big deal.

Post # 16
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have been around the life insurance business my whole life and worked in it for years and this is a perfectly normal scenerio. My whole family has interlocking life insurance benefits (beneficiaries). My family is spread out all over the country and we don’t want anyone to worry about travel arrangements. Being around,basically, death benefits our whole lives has given us a very matter of fact way of dealing with these issues and a real understanding of worst case scenerios and the way people deal with these issues. I do have a seperate whole life policy which all goes to the FH and one that goes to my son. The one I have had for twenty years goes 40% to FH, 40% to son, 10% to parents, and 10% to brother.

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