(Closed) Fiance Wedding Band Dilemma

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I agree with @annabananabee

He should be able to wear whatever he wants and you should wear your wedding set however you like.

Is he this controlling in other aspects of your relationship? It’s very odd that your concerned about the style of ring he wants to wear and he is telling you how to wear your set……..

Post # 17
248 posts
Helper bee

Hmmm. Is there something in particular about the design of the ring that he wants for his wedding ring? A feature/finish/engraving etc.
If so, maybe you could incorporate that into a new, unique ring which has elements of  both the past & the future! 
If he is intent on having the SAME ring, maybe you could ‘refurbish’ or update the ring with an engraving (wedding date/special phrase) making it special to you and your marriage. Other options could be to set it with a stone that is symbolic of your relationship; either to match your eRing or a birthstone maybe?

Post # 18
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I sort of agree with you, OP. I would be put off if my guy didn’t get a new ring also. And like, what’s the point of having the exact same two rings? Seems like a waste of money to me. And why wouldn’t he want a symbolic thing of just your wedding together? Idk. I don’t have a lot of advice, but I can say that I totally understand where you’re coming from & would feel the same way (so don’t feel crazy or anything) Also, typically an engagement ring & wedding band are meant to be worn together on the left ring finger, seems weird that he wouldn’t want you to wear them together (or even dictate WHERE you wear them for that matter) maybe try what PP said & have him wear moms ring on the other hand & a new wedding band on the left, sorry your guy is being a tool 

Post # 19
1239 posts
Bumble bee

You guys sound really invested in each other’s ring choices. Get him what he wants and tell him you’ll wear your rings as you like. 

Fwiw my husband wants a powerfully ugly wedding ring. But it’s what he wants and he is the one who will wear it, so I’ll buy it. 

Post # 20
41 posts

More context needed. Maybe this is his way of compromising because he doesn’t want to part with his mom’s ring, but doesn’t feel comfortable wearing two rings. As a man, he may not feel like he has the option to move an important family heirloom to his right hand, like most of us would do in this situation 🙂

You are the one who knows his intentions best – or are in the best position to ask! There’s 100 totally reasonable explanations other than “he wants to bring his mom into your marriage”, so if you’re worried, just have a conversation about what the ring means to him and why he wants to keep it. If in the rest of your interactions you don’t feel that his relationship with his mom is intruding into your marriage, I wouldn’t assume the ring is a symbol of anything like that, either.

Post # 21
3 posts

As one of the few men on the site I’ll give you a man’s perspective.  Alot of guys don’t wear jewelry.  Some of us wear lots some only wear a watch and a ring.  He found something comfortable in the ring he was given and wants his wedding ring to be as familiar as that piece is to him.  Nothing weird about that.  Just like many buy the same style of shoes in the sane color or different colors.  It’s his ring and if he’s saying he’s wanting to wear his ring be happy that he is.  Alot of men don’t wear them or have no attachment to it at all.  As far as how you wear your rings wear them how you want.  Yourr wedding ring is for your enjoyment to outwardly  express your personal commitment . 

Post # 22
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’d let it go, if he feels comfortable wearing that style then so be it, it will be on his wedding finger either way 🙂 

My Fiance doesn’t wear or like to wear jewellery and due to his work wouldn’t be able to wear one anyway 6 days out of 7. We will be buying a cheap ring for the ceremony and that’s it. Doesn’t bother me, but my dad has never worn a ring either (married to my mum for 32 years).

Post # 23
10540 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
kristin36890 :  

How very odd . I mean not only is it odd to think they don’t look good together , but extremely odd to give you instructions about how to wear your rings. Any rings. 

Fuck  that,  OP  –  he’ll be telling you what style bra you should wear next.

As for his ring , if you  think he wants his mother to be a third in your marriage , well that’s a worry , but if he just  want to have a copy cos that’s the design he likes  , no probs

Post # 24
10540 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
tinneranne2 :  

…”powerfully ugly wedding ring” . Lol.

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