Post # 1
I’m curious what others think…and I’m procrastinating from my bar studies, so here I am! When we got engaged, I started thinking about how I felt about changing my name. My fiance’s parents (thank you, hippies) hyphenated his name and he insists it is one name. He also says he doesn’t care one way or the other whether I take his name. From my perspective, I go back and forth. On the one hand, I was raised to believe I didn’t need to change my name and my middle name is my mom’s maiden name. However, there has been divorce/remarriage in my family and I dislike how many different names are in my family. I like the idea of being a team/partnership and marking our marriage by taking his name. I don’t dislike the name at all. However, I feel a little wierd about “giving up” my name and taking two of his names. I also dislike giving kids hyphenated names and would prefer our kids have only one name. But then I would only take one of his last names to match the kids? Ugh. I find myself being irritated at his parents…which isn’t fair as one of them has passed away. Clearly I should just return to my bar studies (commercial paper today-yippee!) but I think I’m just feeling unmodern for wanting to take his name, even if it means taking two. Wow, my thoughts feel disorganized. Thanks, all!
Post # 3
That is a really tough one. I feel you on wanting to grab onto one, non-hyphenated name to keep for your entire family. You know, some couples invent a new name when they get married, like Mrs. Star and her husband who both took her stage name. Or like my FI’s aunt and uncle, who combined the first half of his last name with the second half of her last name to create a new last name.
If he doesn’t want to do that, you could take just one of his hyphenated names, and then give that name to your kids, but I’m guessing he won’t be game for that if he embraces his last name as being just one name.
Post # 4
@IvyClimb: I was thinking the same thing. A single, new name that has some meaning to you both might be really appropriate.
Post # 5
Granted, my sister is in her fifties and her children are grown, but when she remarried this is what she did: She is Sarah Smith for work and legal paperwork, and she is Sarah Jones for social areas of her life.
I’ve always wondered how you handle a couple who marries and each has a hyphenated name, but the wife doesn’t want to totally give up her maiden name.
Or, when children come along, whose last name is used if the Mrs. and Mr. have different last names?
Post # 6
We are not in a situation like yours, but we are doing what LittlestBirds stated. We are making a new name with first half of my last name and last half of his last name. I’m excited!