(Closed) Fiance Won't Stand Up For Me

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

HUGE, huge issue that you need to get sorted before marrying. The four key areas are finances, kids, religion, and in-laws… and boy, do you have in-law issues because your Fiance won’t stand up for you.

No doubt, this would be an issue I would want addressed in pre-marital counseling. Do it sooner, not later. Don’t bring up this specific issue, but tell your Fiance you’d like to go through some pre-marital counseling just to make sure you’re both doing everything you can to set you up for a lifetime of happiness.

You can check with your church, but also know that regular counselors do pre-marital prep. We went to one for 6 sessions that my FI’s employer (employee assistance program) paid for. The price was reasonable though even if we had to pay for it ourselves.

DEFINITELY get this sorted before moving forward with wedding plans. Your gut feeling is right, if he doesn’t change his perspective, you will feel like second fiddle and that’s not a good place to be.

Post # 4
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@NAvery:  +1. Definitely needs to be sorted out before you marry him. You don’t want to always be second string to his mother. Obviously, she is an important woman in his life, but YOU should be his number one priority. Not her.

Post # 5
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

@excitedbride08:  I don’t feel it is an either or issue. You will be his wife and they will always be his family. I would be more worried if he was willing to forsake them. Then forsaking you when conveniet would be easy too.

You need to learn to work with or at least deal with his mother. Respect that he came from her and love that he loves her. Give her something to do and brag about. I think in the long run, being willing to be the bigger person will make your life easier.

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