Post # 1
Okay so i am about a year out from my wedding, and we are trying to decide on a venue. the first venue was too expensive according to my fiancee, I thought it was a great deal…we were getting a lot for our money. The second place he didn’t like because he doesn’t like the menu and outside catering is not allowed. The third place he doesn’t like because he thinks it’s too small (even though we can use the entire facility which includes a beautiful foyer, and two other really nice rooms along with an outside garden, what more could he possibly want??), he didn’t like the smell (wtf?), and didn’t like the wrinkled blue table cloths on the table (this place gives you linens). This place was actually very affordable. The fourth place was already booked. We live in a town that doesn’t provide a whole lot of options…how can there be something wrong EVERYWHERE! I feel SimpleBride10 turning into DivaBride, and its too early in the process for this….so in so many words I told him we are going with location number 1, that’s what I want, we’ll budget accordingly. Aaaahhhhh! Then I made the mistake of showing him a boutinnere that I made in Hobby Lobby with some very realistic flowers, just to see what he’s looking for. Of course he didn’t like it. He said it looked fake (it didn’t to me, these flowers were pretty pricey) and said that he preferred real flowers…which is definitely NOT what I had in mind and not what we discussed prior to getting engaged! Grrrrrr! We have an appointment with a caterer this morning, whose food i’ve tasted before. Do you want to bet he won’t like something? He had not selected a menu as of last night (…mentally screaming….), he has not contacted the djs for price quotes, hasn’t really done much except tell what he doesn’t like and give bad estimates while trying to come up with a budget (he’s quoted the wrong price for different vendors and caterers). I was gonna try and include him on all the decisions, but I see that may not be possible, and I have a life outside of this wedding planning. Venues fill up fast here and I am about ready to choke him or just turn into the Bitch Bride from HELL! AAAAAHHHHH! Thank you for letting me vent…
Post # 3
I would give him just 1 or 2 things to do, and then you run with everything else. My husband didn’t want to deal with it, so the only thing he did was help me pick out music and the ceremony stuff, and helped with a lot of setup. But, he wanted it that way, because I know his taste, and he likes what I pick out, and of course all the vendors, I talked to him about before I booked.
I would have a talk with him, and see what is really going on here
Post # 4
I wouldn’t give him too many options. I would say, “Okay, which one do you like the best? 1, 2, or 3?” That way he has to choose.
I would sit him down and figure out why he is being a debbie downer.
Post # 5
My fiance on the other hand is glued to the Xbox a 1000% of the time and “LOVES” everything I show or say to him about the wedding. *side eye*
I agree with the ladies above..don’t give him too many options. You pick your top 2 and let him choose from that selection. Help him understand the main factors that you guys are looking for that will help with decision making (i.e. price, location, space, etc.) smells, linen, etc can all be changed so get over it already !!
I would also express to him that you feel as though he is being to picky about everything or maybe ask him what HE is looking for concerning pricing, venue, location and maybe it will save you guys some time, since you can narrow your options.
Post # 6
hmmm. Who is paying for the wedding? Tell me about the size and your personal vision for it.
It seems like you guys made agreements and talked prior, what was said? Does he want say in every part of the wedding, is it your choice?
Post # 7
My Fiance was like this in the beginning of planning, too – he seemed to turn down ALL of my ideas without even really considering them. I finally snapped at him one day for being so negative about everything, without offering any of his own suggestions. After that, he was much better about really listening and considering my ideas. It also helps a TON if I can show him a picture of another wedding where they did something similar. He’s not very good at visualizing, lol!
I would suggest telling him (in a nice way, not in a snappish way like I did) that he’s seriously killing your wedding buzz with his negativity. I would also ask him to suggest what he would like more, if he doesn’t like something that you’ve picked out. And remind him to consider the cost, stress it will add, logistics, and so on. Sometimes I think guys forget to consider these things.
Post # 8
Haha SpecialK I feel like I could write your post!! Mine is totally glued to the xbox.
Just give like 2 options and only tell him to pick. You’ve done the research and yes its the best!
Post # 9
Hi, I made a similar post a week or so ago….I know exactly what you mean. Like Bubu82, I also eventually snapped and told him he was making things too difficult and unless he was going to do the legwork, he needed to get on board instead of rejecting evenerything.He has also been better sinece then!! I would seriously also recommend sitting him down and telling him to be more postive and helpful than a hindrance. Too many cooks……
Post # 10
If he is okay with it I say you pick everything and just have him show up on time. DH doesn’t understand or care about the details so I took that as my lisence to do whatever I wanted. Get your Fiance to agree on a total dollar amount and have fun with your planning while staying under the budget you two agreed upon. Of course you’ll want to discuss ideas etc. That is where your friends and family come in.
Post # 11
Wow. Talk about a buzz kill. It sounds like he’s just looking for stuff to not like or has some kind of vision in his mind that he’s not seeing and not being realistic. If you think #1 is a great choice and that you get a lot for your money, explain that to him. Just him saying it cost too much doesn’t help the situation at all. Why does he still think #3 is too small if you’ve explained all the room that you will have? The smell?? And wrinkled linens?? I would be going nuts if I were you and did not notice those “issuses”. I agree with PP, give him 2 or 3 choices, and say those are it… pick one. If you don’t mind taking charge, then just plan it yourself (my husband didn’t care much for any decision and details, so I did all the work, dragged him to meetings, and made my final decision with some input from him). Run ideas by him every now and then if you want, but if he complains about a choice you’ve made, then he should follow up and do something about it or offer suggestions, otherwise, just him saying no to something is not helpful.
Post # 12
I would say, “Well, I wish you seemed excited or has nice things to say about our wedding! But since you don’t like any of my venue choices, try to find one you do like and we’ll go look there. But we need to decide by X day, so if you haven’t looked around by then we’ll pick out favorite from what we have already seen. But I don’t think you realize how difficult it will be to find a nice, inexpensive place that allows outside catering.”
Post # 13
Thank you so much for the advice ladies. We talked last night and came up with a budget. Looks like I will be calling the shots, as long as I stay within the budget. He finally broke down and told me whatever I want is fine with him (a.k.a. “the green light”). So I will only give him 2 choices on things that require his input. Otherwise I won’t be asking him ANYTHING! He’s way too nit-picky, and i’ve gotta focus on some details soon. So Bitch Bride returns to her cave….for now… 😉