Post # 1
I am Catholic, as is Dear Fiance. However, Dear Fiance is actually agnostic and not practicing at all. This wasn’t a problem before because I guess I never really thought about it.
However now that I am going to marry this man, I am thinking on it.
Is it wrong to marry someone without any real faith? He says that he will take the kids to mass if I am ever sick etc. and will raise them Catholic. He is not athiest. However, I still wonder…
Anyone else in this situation? What would you think if youu were in it?
Post # 3
I’m not in that situation, but I believe that there needs to be a united front when it comes to religion. Only you can decide how important it is to you.
Post # 4
He’s Catholic, but he’s Agnostic… but then he’s not Atheist? Do you really know what your fiance is? I’m just trying to wrap my brain around being an Agnostic non-practicing Catholic.
Religion isn’t important to me (Staunch Atheist) and religion isn’t important to my SO (Staunch Agnostic), so.. I guess I can’t really say how we’d relate. If he was religious, I’d love him all the same as long as he didn’t pressure me into it. I’d be cool with him going to mass, or church, or whatver he chose, but I wouldn’t want to go myself. I’d also want to promote my children’s freedom of choice.
But religion isn’t a dealbreaker for me in any form.
Post # 5
I just wanted to add that from what I have seen, when one person is religious and their partner is not, it almost always seems to be harder on the person who is religious. It seems that they have to struggle with not sharing something that is important to them with the most important person in their life. I think it can only become more difficult when you bring children into the equation. This is based off of what I have experienced in previous relationships of my own, as well as friends experiences in this area.
Post # 6
Personally, (and this is coming from an atheist) I don’t see religious differences as a deal-breaker. I do think it’s a problem, however when these religious differences cause the individuals to want different things (e.g. one person wanting the other to ‘share’ their faith, baptising children, etc.). My fiance is Catholic, however he is a non-practising Catholic and would most likely describe himself as a deist as he believes in a higher power, but he doesn’t believe in a personal god. We both plan to raise our children to be make up their own minds about religion.
It is important to fiance’s family that the children be baptised (and they would want to raise their grandchildren as Catholics), so that’s another issue that needs dicussing too. But a relationship between people with different religious beliefs can work – it just means that each person needs to communicate what they want and respect the other person’s beliefs.
Post # 7
That’s a good way of putting it. I live in a country where *everyone* considers themselves Catholic, even if they don’t practice it at all. He didn’t have a proper religious foundation in childhood like I did, so I think that is where the agnostic bit comes from. Yet he still considers himself to be Catholic, which is strange to me.
My mother said to me today that faith is a gift and that since he has offered to bring kids to mass, he might be blessed with true faith in church one day.
I agree that is is harder for the religious person. I do find it kinda sad sometimes that he can never share the beauty of God and Jesus with me…
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone here!
Post # 8
Darling Husband and I are the same way. I grew up going to church several times a week and “very Catholic” while Darling Husband is Catholic, he never went to church. He’ll go with me to church if I ask and on Easter and Christmas. He’s very open to raising our kids Catholic and knows I’ll be taking our future kids to church.
One thing that is really hard is going to church every week without Darling Husband. We didn’t live together before we got married, so it wasn’t unusual for me to go without him. Now that we live together, it’s very hard going without him.