(Closed) Fiance's a Groomsman

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should poster attend?
    Yes : (36 votes)
    63 %
    No : (21 votes)
    37 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t think you have to go; I know I wouldn’t if I were in your situation. I am not particularly close with my husband’s family due to geographic distance and lack of interest on their side, and his sister simply annoys me with her selfishness and narcissistic behaviour. Her last marriage failed earlier this year (I’ve lost count of the number of ex-husbands but I believe this was number 5 or 6), and I did not attend her last wedding nor will I attend any future wedding farces that she is undoubtedly already planning. My husband understands although he still feels compelled to fly halfway around the globe every time she ties the knot — only to untie it two to three years later.

    It’s absolutely your decision, and you should not feel forced to attend. I would not be bothered by the fact that I cannot sit next to my husband, as we are never seated next to each other at formal dinners, but if you have work commitments and could definitely use the money you have a very good reason to say no.

    Post # 17
    Member
    2554 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    blondie55:  Do people still do that head table thing?  Ugh I thought that terrible habit died a long time ago.  Unless you have reason to believe that there’s a head table (or it’s the norm in your area), I wouldn’t assume that you’ll have to put up with one.  If I were you I’d probably go just for the family aspect.  Maybe you can go for the ceremony and dinner and then duck out and finish out your shift?

    Post # 18
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    blondie55:  this will one day be your family too so suck it up moneywise and go. Money comes and goes but you’re family to be wont forget that you didn’t attend THEIR wedding to make a few extra bucks. 

    I did the same thing for my SO. He was a groomsmen for his best friend who I happened to not like at all. I sucked it up and went to support HIM. And guess what? I went, I actually got to sit with my SO, I helped the bride and we actually all got closer. Now were all friends and SO is incredibly happy I went. 

    If anything, go for your Fiance. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think it would be rude to skip

    Post # 20
    Member
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    blondie55:  If you were just his gf, I would say you needn’t. But since you are his fiancee, I think you should give up a day’s work and attend. After all you’re nearly his wife, and I think a spouse should attend if possible. If you skip it then it is possible that your absence will be noticed and commented on. 

    Consider it (missing a day’s work and attending) an investment into good in-law relationships. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    11652 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    blondie55:   If he misses a lot of your events for work, I’m not sure why anyone would expect you to not do the same. mayve you can set up a ten minute break and he can facetime you so you can see the bride, etc. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    3638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Is there anyway that you can attend the cermony but skip the reception? The ceromony is the most important part afterall. However, if you have already RSVP’d then you MUST attend. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee

    I will skip it if your Fiance is totally okay with it.

    The topic ‘Fiance's a Groomsman’ is closed to new replies.

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