Fiancés been secretly ordering cialis

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
6738 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

jenndubya :  I’ll be honest, I don’t think you two should be getting married. There are a lot of issues at play here and none of it sounds like the foundation of a healthy marriage. 

Post # 47
Member
790 posts
Busy bee

This is definitely not about you. It’s the same thing as women who can’t orgasm through sex & need oral or clitoral stimulation. To orgasm. 

Post # 48
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

jenndubya :  whoever said this is a porn addiction needs a slap! I totally get what you are saying. From what you have said, it sounds like he cares, loves you a lot and wants to make an effort to fix it. I know he ‘enjoys’ other activity which makes you wonder but have you considered it may be psychological? He has come to the belief that it won’t happen this way for him so doesn’t! Maybe because of past experiences and embarrassment. Maybe even because he saw how you felt when he couldn’t. Is I’d say let it lie for now. Of course you sometimes think it’s you. That’s natural.  Try to relax and enjoy each other. See what happens. Replace them with smarties and I bet he’ll have just as much fun 😉 xx 

Post # 49
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

dannij8918 :  

You missed the fact OP says he lies about other things like his ex being in their home..

Post # 50
Member
1597 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I’ve been through something similar (although Fiance is not using medication) and it is INCREDIBLY hard not to think it’s about you. My Fiance has a low sex drive and he’s never discussed it before (it also wasn’t an issue when we dated eight years ago) so I of course assumed that it wasn’t an issue with anybody except me and he must not want to have sex with me. I still struggle with it because every time we discuss it, he withdraws and says it adds to the pressure, whereas I feel like I need him to know it’s a big issue. 

If your Fiance is willing to discuss it I encourage you to do so. You need to hear how he feels, but I also think you have the right to express how his lack of sex drive makes you feel.

Post # 52
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

jenndubya :  I’ve dated multiple men over 30 and my only ex who ever had this problem (ED during sex, but not during oral or masturbation) lied about it, lied about it not happening before (later told me it’d happened in every single other relationship w a woman), lied about tons more, lied about how much porn he watched, lied about type of porn, lied about cheating and cheated extensively, and turned out to be severely closeted (still) and gay.

I don’t know why your guy is lying, but I’d never stay w someone who lies as much and has the issues your guy does. I don’t care what the reason is- lying is a dealbreaker to me; it doesn’t matter if a guy thinks it’s okay. It’s not okay to me, so I leave. End of discussion. 

Post # 53
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee

dannij8918 :  I never said it did. But there is much bigger problems behind the relationship, aside from what OP posted.

Sure they can continue to have sex, but do you want to have sex with someone who lies to you ALL the time like OP says?

He’s a compulsive liar.

Post # 54
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

jenndubya :  This is not about you, he has a medical problem that he wanted to seek help treating. Although he may have lied about other things, this isn’t about lying. He is probably embarrassed and didn’t want to tell you because of the way you are reacting. Secondly, he us fully protected by HIPPA and not required to tell you. You broke his trust. He won’t become addicted to them, he needs them! They are not considered an addictive medicine. It might help if you made an appointment with a doctor to learn more about this.

Post # 55
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Heck I would be happy if my fiancé would of taken the initiative to improve our sex life.

My fiancé has similar problems. His main problem is he can’t get hard. Sometimes if he gets hard he only lasts a few minutes with sex and has to finish with his hand. 

Yes when we first got together I thought it was me. It was extremely hard and caused a lot of tension in our relationship. Sometimes we didn’t have sex at a months time from me complaining and crying over it. After months of me having to give myself pep talks and talking with my fiancé I finally realized it wasn’t me, it was legit his problem. 

Once I stopped always hammering him about it, my fiancé started to initiate sex more. Thou he still has problems we didn’t let it bother us and he still made it a point to get me to Orgasm. But usually he wouldn’t get off… but I just know it’s his problem.

With my support fiancé is getting courage to finally go to the doctor and discuss the problem. He’s highly embarrassed by it so it’s taken him time to finally go. 

So for your fiancé taking the initiative to fix the problem is not such a bad thing to me… but it seems like you guys already have trust issues and you see him hiding it as a lie. But you have to understand a lot of men are embarrassed about it and it’s hard to talk to the SO about it. 

You just need to have a conversation about it to him, and stay calm and don’t over react. 

Post # 56
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

railroaderwifeyxo :  but that wasn’t the question. If she had asked me about her Fiance lying I would have given a response. However the question was about the ordering of Meds to improve his performance. 

I’m not about to trawl through her previous feeds and call her out on things she’s previously said. She’s obviously here for some reassurance as she’s not feeling great so I gave an honest and none judgemental response based on that. 

Post # 57
Member
6738 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

dannij8918 :  She’s mentioned the constant lying and accusations of being a serial cheater in THIS thread. 

She started this post not giving a full picture of what is going on. It quickly became apparent, based on OP’s updates, that Cialis is not the issue. The problem is that he constantly lies to her and she doesn’t trust him (possibly for good reason). OP even admitted that the fact that he’s taking the meds isn’t the real issue, it’s that he’s not honest with her and has been hiding it (and a bunch of other stuff) from her. 

Post # 58
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

llevinso :  and as I previously said I was answering the initial question posted. If the Person who posted doesn’t like or agree with my response, I am pretty certain she can tell me! 

Post # 59
Member
6738 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

dannij8918 :  Okay no need to get upset. You just seemed to be confused thinking that people had been “trawl[ing] through her previous feeds” and I was just pointing out that that wasn’t the case. 

Post # 60
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

llevinso :  upset? Really? Hahahaha. 

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