(Closed) Fiancés best friend doesn't like me

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Well thats crappy. Is there any reason why this friend would think that? Has there ben any arguments or drama that would make him think this way? It says your wedding is Oct. 2020- is that right? This may be stemming from the date being so far away.

Anyways- get him out of the wedding party. You don’t need that.

Post # 3
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
loveisafire :  Maybe the best friend is just fine with you, and this “mutual friend” is a troublemaker? Why should your fiance trust a “mutual friend” more than his best friend?

Post # 5
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

He doesn’t sound like a very good friend. I think your Fiance should think about cutting ties with this guy. A real friend wouldn’t talk shit about his “best friend” and his fiancé.

Post # 6
Member
10458 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

What is up with this mutual friend causing all kinds of drama? Your fiancé needs to talk to his best friend. So far, everything you “know” right now is gossip. 

Post # 7
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

‘Mutual friends’ can be troublemakers. You don’t know if he’s actually saying this stuff or not. Your Fiance needs to have a word with him  to see if it’s actually true or just vicious gossip.

Post # 8
Member
9112 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
loveisafire :  Gossips are the worst kind of friend. Never trust a gossip.

But just say he doesn’t like. Well so what? He doesn’t have to like you and just because you are marrying his best friend doesn’t change that. He can support his friend through his marriage without having to like you. As long as he is civil to you, which it sounds like he is, then that is all he needs to be. And he is allowed to confide in other people about concerns over a friends relationship, it is just a shame that person seems to be a gossip.

My best friend married a guy I couldn’t stand. She was happy so I supported her and was her bridesmaid. I also confided in another close friend about my concerns. Thankfully they are now divorced. Sometimes being a friend means sucking it up and supporting them in their choices no matter how much you don’t agree with them.

Post # 9
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe he’s jealous of you?

 

Sorry, best friend sounds like a jackass.  I’d ask Fiance to have a talk with him.

Post # 10
Member
3441 posts
Sugar bee

Why do two people supposedly close to him think your relationship is a bad idea? What are their specific reasons?

Post # 11
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
loveisafire :  Such an awful & crappy situation to find yourself in. And I know first hand because a year ago I could have written you’re OP.

I think the first course of action is your Fiance needs to step up and say something to this friend. Because at the end of the day what he is saying is completely disrespectful. Again you heard everything through the grapevine, the problem is you don’t know if words have been twisted or not. So my advice is get you’re Fiance to talk to the friend ask him what is up.

If he confirms everything that he has been saying then you’re Fiance needs to make a choice here. If I were you I wouldn’t allow him to be the best man in the wedding. My husband’s ex-best friend was our best man. He said basically the same thing you’re FI’s best friend is saying. However, it was said to my husband’s face on his bachelor party.

In the end he did come to the wedding, made a horrible best man speech left at 10 pm and we never heard from him again. I would seriously ask you’re Fiance to talk to this guy, because if what he is saying is true, you both don’t need someone like that to be apart of you’re special day.

Post # 12
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Why is someone reporting to you all the mean things this friend is saying about you?  Is it your Fiance who is telling you these things?  WHY would he do that if he is or WHY would this other person report back to you like that?

Post # 13
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

Definitely sounds like “mutual friend” is stirring up drama. If your FI’s best friends has concerns about your relationship why wouldn’t he address it with your Fiance directly? Like pp’s have said he doesn’t have to be your best friend and he is allowed to have an opinion about your relationship if he’s witnessed concerning behavior. Idk about anyone else but I’ve definitely been in situations with my best friends where their SO’s were not right for them and I was still cordial and polite to them but in private I let them know that they could do better. While that might not be the case for your relationshop it’s totally normal to have those types of conversations between friends.

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