Fiance\'s best friend\'s spouse is a tw*t and not invited

posted 4 months ago in Guests
  • poll: How to clearly tell them only the guy is invited
    Verbally : (54 votes)
    70 %
    Writing via invitation : (15 votes)
    19 %
    Text messgae : (5 votes)
    6 %
    Email : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    awol352002 :  

    Be prepared to have a conflict with his best friend. If you are willing to damage the friendship because you can’t be an adult and just ignore her (spouses are one unit, they should both be invited) then have at it.

    Post # 3
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee

    Okay…you have a MUCH bigger issue going on than not inviting her to the wedding.

    Is her being a little emotional the ONLY reason you don’t like her? 

    If I was her husband I would drop from your wedding and no longer be your friend. How can you possibly be friends with someone and expect them not to take offense to you not inviting their significant other? 

    I really hope your friend drops you and your Fiance because y’all are seriously rude.

    So yeah, I guess my answer is verbally because if you have the balls to tell someone’s wife they can’t come to your wedding when they’re a groomsman in the wedding, then you should have to do it face to face.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1264 posts
    Bumble bee

    Does the groomsman know you plan to omit his wife? I’d like to see how that conversation goes. 

    Is it now right to be rude in 2018 when you’re paying for your wedding? I must have missed that memo.

    And your example of her awfulness is so lame I’m convinced at least half the problem is of your own making.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4602 posts
    Honey bee

    You are going to severely if not permanently damage the relationship between your fi and his BEST FRIEND. Honestly I think you are being crazy petty and immature. Just invite her and tell her your cat (????) will be there, maybe she wont even go. But at least you havent taken a hack saw to your fis friendship.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Also, she manipulated her husband into getting you to apologize before… this is going to be like dropping a bomb right in the middle of their friendship, there’s no way she’s going to just take the news and fade away.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

     Verballly and ASAP in case it affects the groomsman’s decision to be in the wedding.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1561 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    awol352002 :  I find your attitude to be so mean spirited and holier than thou. You kind of sound like a twat yourself. FIs best friend and groomsman will be ok with this rationale?

    This only furthers tension and awkwardness with this couple. Then what happens when you and Darling Husband want to hang out with this guy again? Say his wife is never invited to anything?

    Yuck this is messy and you’re rude

    Post # 9
    Member
    1965 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Don’t do it. It’s rude. I wouldn’t invite a husband but not the wife. They are a set. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    When the groomsman drops out, you can have your cat stand in his place 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    6051 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Could you call her a twat a few more times? I don’t think you did it enough for a mature, 30-something year old…

    Post # 12
    Member
    517 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    No one is worse than my fiance’s ex best friend’s wife.

    She cursed at me, told me lies about my Fiance and his mother, ignored me, brought up Fiance’s ex gf every time we would hang out, and so much more. She also talks shit about EVERY ONE, but  will be cordial to them when she needs something. ie. she talked so much shit about our friend’s wife, but then stayed with them in florida for a free vacation.

    Her behavior was so malicious and spiteful, that my Fiance had to terminate the friendship after speaking with him about her behavior countless times without any change.

    They are starting to speak again, but neither of hem will be invited to my wedding because you cant really invite one without the other.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7358 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    You know this isn’t going to end well. Never put one of your (or your fi’s) friends in a position where they feel they need to choose between your friendship and their relationship with their spouse. You won’t win. Be a grown up, suck it up, bite your tongue, and realize that you’re not moving in with her; you’re only going to have to tolerate her for a couple hours.

    By The Way having a cat at a wedding reception is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever read on this site. Cats don’t like change, they don’t like intruders into their territory and they don’t like being in strange surroundings.  Your cat does not want to go to your wedding.

    Post # 14
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think you’re confused about who the actual twat is in this situation.

    Do you really care so little for your future husband that you would risk destroying his relationship with his best friend for no reason?

    Post # 15
    Member
    8849 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Does your fiancé realize this could really damage is not end his friendship with this guy?

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