(Closed) Fiance’s Brother got engaged after us but getting married before us?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

“I still can’t because the brother’s fiance wanted to jump right in line and butt us!”

This doesn’t have anything to do with you. I doubt, given how short their courtship was, that they are really thinking of anything they should be regarding this. Try not to take it personally, and remember that the divorce rate for marriages like theirs in through the roof, whereas for yours it is low.

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MJade: That’s a lot of family wedding crap to deal with. I’m really sorry. When in April is their wedding? How much time between theirs and yours?

Is it possible she’s pregnant and it’s a shotgun wedding?

Is your Fiance the  youngest of the family? Maybe they couldn’t bear to have him married before you.

None of that makes it ok, but at least you and your Fiance come out looking like the better people especially if you are being this calm about it.

Hey, look at it this way, your wedding will be last so it will stick in their mind the  most.

I’d be pissed too. I’m sorry.

Post # 5
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, and I would be upset too. Just think of it this way, they’re saving the best for last. πŸ˜‰

Post # 6
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Can we all have a moment of silence for your FI’s poor parents who are dealing with 3 weddings in 3 months….? Lol My parents had 2 in 6 months and it about drove my mom batty!

 

Anyways— considering the timeline I do think it was a bit rude unless they had a reason they HAD to do it then. But you can’t control their behavior. Try to get past it and be gracious. Let her be the rude one, and you just be nice. 

Post # 7
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It is sort of strange that with two weddings in the family that are so close together, they’d sandwich another one in with so little time to plan.  Plus it sounds like there are other things that bother you about her.  Just try to be as gracious as possible, and remember your wedding will be the most memorable – save the best for last!  πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m sorry but I really don’t see a problem with this…? You are all getting married in different months, so I don’t understand how its rude sorry. I think considering you wanted to get married in March but couldn’t afford to do so maybe making you a little jealous but I wouldnt call you a Bridezilla! just try to remember that weddings aren’t a competition, that its about the comitment between you and your FI- a wedding date after you FIs brothers isn’t going to change that in anyone’s eyes.

Post # 8
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I say you should just hang a banner that reads “save the best for last.”  I usually think people who complain about this is petty, but I don’t in this case..they were pretty rude to do that to his family.  Goodness, just be glad your Fiance had enough sense NOT to pull that. Your FI’s brother should have thought of his family and encourage her to wait out a few months…but not much you can do but be gracious and be happy for them.  πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I second the pregnant thing. I can’t think of any other reason they would handle things this way..

Post # 10
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@ceamoste: Just throwing this out there and I don’t mean to assume….. but perhaps the OP and their families are mormon? 

I was just going off the Utah + 3 siblings close in age + fast marriages. I could be wrong… but that might be another reason because I know in Mormon culture getting married in a matter of weeks or months is not at all unusual. 

Post # 11
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

That would totally annoy (the completely irrational side of) me too:( I just think the oldest brother might be feeling pressured by the other two weddings and doesn’t want to be the last to get married. Try to focus on the fact that you and your Fiance have a solid foundation to build a marriage on…they might be getting married before you, but they might not be married as long as you. Plus I guarantee a majority of people will be more excited for you and your Fiance since it’s been 3 years in the making. I bet a lot of people don’t even know that FI’s brother is even in a relationship much less engaged and getting married (ASAP).

Post # 12
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sorry. I’ve been through this. All I can say is take a bunch of deep breaths, get a lot of big hugs from your fi and ask him to help you get through this – to listen to you when you need to vent about it. That’s what got me through when my brother got engaged 9 days after I did, to his gf of 8 months, when I had been dating my fi for 7 years. Our wedding was planned for October since the day we got engaged. He was engaged in Feb, married in June. They rushed their wedding b/c they (NO JOKE) “want to have a spring baby.” Guess what? It’s April. She’s not preggers. 

I know it hurts and it’s hard to deal with and there’s really nothing you can do about it at this point.  Hold your head high and try, god it’s hard, but try to be a big person when you see them, when you congratulate them, when you go to their wedding.

I’m sending you hugs through the bee. {{{hugs}}}

Post # 13
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I dont think this was done on purpose.. I can see where its upsetting bc his family isnt involved as much as they would be if the other wedding wasnt going on as well.. but its life dont let it ruin your day!!

Post # 15
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ll be honest… THAT BLOWS!

But honestly, remain a classy woman and she’ll notice and if she is trying to be a bit undermindly catty and rude, she’ll HATE that you are so classy and respectful..

its far more satisfying then her seeing you be upset. πŸ™‚

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