(Closed) Fiance's brother..

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 17
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

nina.ashton.3:  Sounds like you’ve got your answer, although I think it’s childish.  If you’ve made your position clear, like I said, nothing that you guys can do about it.  They’ve made their decision.  You guys now need to decide it you can or want to attend.  I know this sucks but I’d try to be the bigger person(s) about it.  I wouldn’t bring the wedding up unless asked directly about it.  If your Future Brother-In-Law or his Fiance or others family ask if your attending, and you can’t, just say you have previous commitments and that the bride and groom are aware of that.  You don’t need to explain your reasons except maybe to immediate family.  Even if you are both upset/angry don’t “bad mouth” them to other people.  Hold your heads high and be gracious about it.  Trust me, if you do, you’ll both come out of this looking like the understanding/supportive brother and SIL.  I’ve had to deal with difficult family situations myself.  Good Luck.

Post # 18
3489 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

It’s possible that the date they selected is most convenient for or being worked around a member of the brides family, and your Future Brother-In-Law may just be going along with it. Either way it doesn’t seem that they are open to changing their date.

If you can/want to attend their wedding you should. If you can’t make it just send a card or something. While it’s not ideal, at the end of the day you will all be family, so try not to let the situation sour your relationships with each other.

Post # 19
516 posts
Busy bee



Is it uncommon to go on a honeymoon after a wedding these days?

Post # 21
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

nina.ashton.3:  I think so long as they know their date means that you can’t come… That sucks, but they are well within their rights to choose whatever date works best for them even of it doesn’t work for you. If it’s important for you to be there, they’ll change it. If other factors mean they can’t, then that’s too bad but oh well.

Post # 22
730 posts
Busy bee

Am I understanding correctly that your honeymoon is scheduled for the week after your wedding, but you would be back in time to attend their wedding if it was a week or two later?

It’s a tricky situation. Ultimately, I think I would push back the honeymoon, even though it’s annoying — missing a sib’s wedding is big. But if it’s not possible for you to attend, just be gracious, and hope they are too.

Post # 23
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Unfortunately if they won’t budge you may have to not attend their wedding if your hineymoo is already booked and its the only time your mother can take your little one and FIs brother won’t budge that’s just the way it will have to be

Post # 24
3158 posts
Sugar bee

So are you saying you guys will be on your honeymoon that weekend?  Your posts haven’t really made clear exactly what the conflict is.

Post # 25
3169 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t really understand what the problem is? Unless you’re away on honeymoon i can’t see any real reason why it shouldn’t be the weekend after yours. Except not very good reasons about it being more convenient if it was another time. I can honestly say this wouldn’t bother me. It’s too late to change your date so try to relax and enjoy your continued planning.

Post # 26
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

shesheb:  a lot of couples delay the honeymoon or skip it entirely. you can’t assume that every couple will take a week off right after the wedding. Like if you paid for the wedding yourselves, you might not be able to afford a honeymoon straight away. I mean, it used to be a month (hence the “moon” part of the word) with the specific purpose of making a baby, and that’s not the usual honeymoon these days, now, is it? And the OP wouldn’t be the first person in the history of the world to shift her honeymoon due to other obligations. Siblings’ weddimg trumps honeymoon. 

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