- 5 years ago
This could get really long, but I’ll try and keep it brief. My fiance and I have been living together for 6 months, engaged for 2 weeks. Before we lived together, his cat was always a bit of a thorn in my side. The cat regularly peed on the floor and pooped in places like my side of the bed, or my FI’s laundry basket, or even the washing machine. However, until we lived together, I kind of just ignored this behavior because it wasn’t “my problem.”
…Now, of course, the cat is my problem. I don’t really mind the cat, and I know my Fiance loves him dearly. I generally don’t like cats, but I’ve tried to be open to him since he means a lot to my Fiance. After living with the cat for 6 months now, however, I’ve reached my limits. More often than not, the cat poops somewhere while we are at work – primarily the kitchen floor or on the bed in our second bedroom. It’s also often diarrhea. The cat also vomits frequently (I understand cats do this, so we did shave it to try and curb this behavior). We’ve had to resort to keeping the cat in the second bedroom to avoid having him poop or vomit elsewhere in the house. This clearly isn’t a desirable solution since the cat often poops on the bed.
To be fair, the cat has been sick lately with some sort of recurring gastrointestinal issue, and the vet has told us that the cat “doesn’t feel safe” in his litter box since it’s associating the box with diarrhea.
I have compassion for a sick animal, but this kind of behavior is also simply unacceptable to me. It’s making me upset on a regular basis, because I feel as though our home is dominated by the cat. We only have about 750 sq feet, and the cat basically has rein over our entire second bedroom. We also can’t decorate our home the way I would like because the cat might vomit/diarrhea on nice furniture or a decent rug. We can’t even leave our bedroom door open while the cat is out because he might try and poop on our bed or in my closet.
Similarly, the cat is a bit of a contentious issue for my Fiance and me. He gets defensive in regards to the cat and doesn’t respond well any time I bring up the cat’s behavior.
I am torn because how can I ask my Fiance to get rid of his cat? I’ve read on many pages that this would lead him to resent me, and I understand that to an extent. But at this point, I’ve reached my limits on this behavior. I told this to my Fiance and I told him that I feel as though the cat is more important than me and our home. He’s upset by this kind of language, but I feel like I have to hold my ground and my boundaries around what is okay and what is not.
Does anyone have any advice? I’m thinking we can maybe let the cat stay with my Future Mother-In-Law for a month or so since she works from home and can give him the attention he needs to get well again and curb this behavior. Otherwise, I feel like one of us will be living with resentment – me, in regards to the cat, or my Fiance in regards to me. Help please!