(Closed) Fiance's cat is a drag on our living situation and our engagement.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

The cat is sick.  It is not normal for a cat to have such frequent vomiting and diarrhea.  If his regular vet can’t help, time for a second opinion.  

You should be encouraging your Fiance to get the cat healthy, not get rid of it.

Post # 3
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

You need to talk to your vet about how to help the cat go potty where he needs to. The vet should be able to work with you on a game plan to get kitty back into the litter. The vomit, well, there’s not much you can do about that unless you can convince kitty to do that in the litter as well (one of our cats does this, but she came to us this way).

I understand how gross it is to have to clean up after animals all the time- think about the smell that must have permeated your carpet!


Post # 4
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would maybe get a 2nd opinion on the cat? It shouldn’t be having diaherra all the time let alone pooping in/on something other than a litter box. Cats do get the occasional furballs from time to time but it shouldn’t be an ongoing thing. (I have 3 cats fyi) I would try another vet and see if there is something else you can do. This cat is something dear to him so you have to take that into consideration, but he shouldn’t ignore your feelings either. I would sit down and talk with him deeply about how you feel. You should come before a cat, but just remember to him the cat is family as well.

Post # 5
2783 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

The cat is sick. It is not doing this to upset you.  

There is no way you can ask your Fiance to get rid of his sick pet because its illness is a disservice to you without looking like an asshole. 

Post # 6
2943 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have a cat, and my Darling Husband understands that we will probably always have a cat, but I don’t have the time to take care of a cat with problems, so I understand.  A friends cat is prone to UTIs, and that leads to multiple messes.  I don’t think I could deal with it as well as they have.

If Future Mother-In-Law has the time and will to take and train the cat, I think that is a decent solution. I think it might be better when the cat is healthy.  I would try to work an agreement with Fiance about his mom working with the cat, and once it is better taking it back.  I would deep clean the house prior to the cat coming back, and replace the litter box.  Sometimes cats get a “this is where I do my business” by smell, so cleaning the place to get rid of the smell can help.

Also, look into changing food along with every thing else.  Hairball control food does wonders.  There is also hair ball control products that can be used to reduce the throwup incidents. 

Post # 7
5987 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

sw7577:  That’s rough, but obviously that cat needs help. I just had 3 out of 4 dogs have diarrhea over that past few weeks. Didn’t get rid of a one of them. Just withheld food for 24 hours and then started with a very small portion of a very bland diet and increased their food intake as I noticed things were improving. If the cat was having behaviorial problems before the illness maybe look that up on the web or in a book?

Post # 8
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

i agree with pixiecat – your Fiance should be looking into other methods of healing this cat. you dont say how old the cat is but my Fiance has an old dog – 12yrs – and regularly poops in the house so i feel your pain. but theres nothing we can do about it. he’s just old. as for the vomiting and diarrhea – have you looked into exploring other types of food? sometimes it could be a trigger for other issues. the vet you took your cat too should of given you suggestions on what to do. there’s also holistic vets you could try talking too they might have other ideas you could try.

Post # 9
323 posts
Helper bee

I have 2 cats in our small flat, I would NEVER think about getting rid of them because my Fiance asked me to, yes they pee in the washing basket, poo on the floor and our long haired one vomits hairballs a lot and Fiance hates it but he knows I love them & animals aren’t disposable objects you can get rid of when they become a nuisance. You are doing the right thing looking at solutions instead of demanding he get rid of the cat, it won’t always be this bad if you can get her medical & behavioural problems addressed.

Post # 10
8926 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would get a second opinion from another vet. This doesn’t seem normal.

Post # 12
9119 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Then you need to put the effort in to get the cat better. ETA: I would leave someone who told me to get rid of a pet. That is not a person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Pets are family. They are not disposable because you don’t like it.

Post # 13
2347 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

sw7577:  Hmm…the cat sounds sick, but it’s also most likely threatened by you, now, and is acting out. 

I agree with the second opinions.  And all I have else to offer if I FEEL YOU!!  FI and I got a cat together that we’ve had for a year and him she loves, to me she’s a total asshole.  She’s bitten and scratched me totally unwaranted, and FI’s like, “Aw, she didnt’ mean it.”  F YOU, SHE DIDN”T MEAN IT!!!  

Post # 14
2963 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

If I were him I would be very resentful if you told me to get rid of a pet. You moved in knowing what you were in for. If he is looking the other way at his cats health issues that really sucks, but I think you either need to put up with things, or get the cat help yourself.

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