Post # 1
I’m getting married this November. The hall has been booked. We rented a big hall, with beautiful landscaping especially in the winter. The hall can fit around 200 people comfortably.
My fiance and I talked at length about the wedding. We decided or more like he suggested a small wedding. We have 71 people we had invited. I come from a small family. I grew up in foster care and never met my father. Out of my family and friends I have 22 people I personally invited (my mom, three sisters, brother, nieces and nephews, one of my foster mom’s and two close friends) My fiance, on the other hand, has invited his immediate family. He comes from a big family where my future mother in law came a family of 9 and his father a family of 7. He has invited some of the family he is closer too.
Yesterday, my fiance asked me to check his Facebook because he was expecting a message from his brother. I did. I noticed a message from a cousin of his. I didn’t mean to snoop but I could see part of the message. Why wasn’t I invited? I opened it and this cousin told my fiance that a lot of families were disappointed. Later that night his mother texted him saying again that some of the family was upset.
I have always felt that some of his family never thought I was good enough. His parents treated me well, but I noticed on Facebook that she still has his ex, and it appears they still get along. It used to really bother me but I learned to accept it because I can’t change where I came from.
My fiance told me not to worry about it. That our guest list and everything is going toward the plan and that we can’t please everyone. Has anyone else been through something similar?
Post # 2
It sounds like your husband is on your side here and isn’t letting his family come between you guys and the decisions you’ve made. That’s all that matters! As for his family being disappointed, I literally can’t think of any wedding where one side or the other wasn’t disappointed over some aspect of the guest list. This is standard wedding planning drama. Don’t sweat it. Just be thankful you are marrying a guy who appears to be putting you first!
Post # 3
scaredengagedgirl : As your Fiance said, don’t worry about it. Have the wedding you and your Fiance want. It is wonderful that he is on your side – an excellent start to your marriage!! Enjoy the wedding planning!!
Post # 4
scaredengagedgirl : who is paying for the wedding?
Post # 5
It’s now time for them to accept that this is your wedding, and you call the shots. Whether they like or not is completely irrelevent. You are the one that has to live with this day forever. No one else. Unless they are contributing a big chunk of cash, they have NO say.
Post # 6
Our wedding budget is 20,000. My mom bought my dress (800.00) and his parents paid the 600.00 deposit on the photogopher (2500.00 total) and 800.00 deposit on the hall (total cost is 5000.00 for 12 hours). The rest we are covering.
Post # 7
Too bad, so sad. Have your husband practice saying “Unfortunately, we can’t invite everyone. Hope to see you over Christmas/New Year’s/next year etc!”
Post # 8
Usually in threads like this, the problem is one partner not supporing the other with family. That’s not your case. Your Fiance has your back.
Stop worring about what his family thinks. Every couple has to draw the line somewhere , no matter what their budget.
As the pp suggested , have some responses ready and practice their delivery.
” We are having a small wedding. We are not able to invite everyone we would like to be with us on our wedding day. I’m sure you undertsand.”
” We know there are others you would like to include, but we are not able to increase the guest list.”
Don’t make excuses like the size of the venue or budget. There are always those problem solvers who volunteer to share a chair or a meal.