- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Hey Fellow Bees,
I don’t normally take to here to vent, but in this case I just need to get it out of my system. First, let me give you some background here…. Prior to us getting back together my fiance had a baby with an ex girlfriend. She was a rebound, oddly enough, from me, anyway, she got pregnant a few months into their relationship and my fiance (we’ll call him J) proposed to her cause he thought he was doing the right thing. As usually happens in situations like this they didn’t work out and went their seperate ways, however, had to maintain contact as they share a son (we’ll call him B).
J’s ex (we’ll call her Sarah) didn’t approve of us getting back together and made it known right from the beginning. First she insisted that I provide a clear police check before I would be allowed to meet B. I agreed to this, thinking “hey, its a little excessive, but maybe she’s just being protective, there are a lot of weirdos out there” and provided it to J’s lawyer with no issues. Next she started calling and texting him talking about when they were together and when she was pregnant, once even calling crying because he was going to have babies with another woman (J and I had only been dating a month when this started).
Sarah still talks to one of J’s aunts (which bothers my fiance a lot, but he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t talk to this aunt) and she had the nerve to tell her that J would call her when I was in the shower telling her how much he loved her and how much he wanted to get back together with her. J’s aunt spread this throughout his family and it eventually got back to him. When he found this out he really let her have it and set some very specific boundaries. He explained that we lived together and that he was moving on with his life and she should move on with hers. He said that they could still talk but only about their son. The only time they would see eachother was during pick ups and drop offs of their child. She was not to speak to him about anything else and certainly couldn’t call him anymore after 8 PM unless there was an emergency with B.
This spawned her to constantly have “emergencies” with their son. She went as far as taking him to the hospital because he “burned his back” I’m a nurse and I saw the picture of the burn…. there was no way it was an actual burn. Turned out it was only a spider bite. Next she proceeded to try to tell my fiance that he was not allowed to bring their son to our house for the weekend as we don’t live in the same town as her. Every time J called to speak with their son he was conveniently napping or had gone to bed. He would ask if B could call him when he woke up and she would say yes, but never call, yet would insist B call her twice a day when he was with us, if J didn’t comply she would bombard his phone with calls and texts.
She finally started dating someone only to have him abuse her. When this happened she turned to my fiance (we were engaged by this point and she knew), telling him that her ex had threatened her and their son. J offered to have their son stay with us until things had calmed down on her end and, since he’s only 3, it wouldn’t disrupt school or anything like that. Once again she refused. We later found out that her boyfriend had never threatened either one of them. While he did abuse her it was when the child wasn’t even home but with my fiance’s mother over night.
She’s been mad at me and gotten mad at my fiance because we recently went on vacation to St. Lucia for a friend of mine’s wedding. She said “I don’t have the luxury of going on vacations, getting cars and planning weddings.” The only reason that I have this “luxury” as she calls it is because I graduated from high school, went on to university and now have a career whereas she dropped out of high school. I will not be apologetic for working my butt off for all of the things that I have! I’m proud of each of them and have worked very hard to get where I am.
She’s now decided that she wants to baptize their son. My fiance is Catholic so he has no issues with it and told her to look into it just give us the date well in advance so we could make sure we were both off (we both work odd schedules). Sarah said “I don’t want her there, she’s not his mother.” J said “First of all she has a name, its Tiffany, and its important for me that she be there and she has a really good report with B.” At this Sarah stated “Well she’s made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t like me. She just wants to be a mother to MY child” J said “she doesn’t have to like you and you don’t have to like her, you just have to be civil and Tiffany is. She’s not trying to replace you as B’s mother either, but she does have a relationship with him.” First of all, I’d never try to replace her as his mother, all I want is to have a relationship with him where he will grow up knowing he can trust me and feeling safe and protected while he’s in my home!
Fast forward to today…. My fiance dropped their son off today and she asked that he bring him up to her apartment. J refused, saying that he just wasn’t comfortable doing that. She came down and picked up their son. My fiance leaned in to kiss his boy goodbye and when he was lifting his head SHE kissed him! My fiance pulled away, got in his car and left. I wasn’t there when it happened but could tell that something was wrong when he got home. He told me immediately. He’s really upset over it because he’s set all of these very clear boundaries and I’m there as often as I can be. She knows that he’s happy with me and wants to be with me and that we’re getting married in just over 7 months.
That little wench did THAT and has the nerve to say that I don’t like her?!?! Well gee, I wonder why! I just want to make it clear that I’m not mad at my fiance over this and I think he handled it well considering his son was there at the time and didn’t need to see an arguement arise. But, I’m so mad at this woman and I just really needed to get out there. *Big Sigh* I feel better now that I said my piece and I’m sorry this was so long.