(Closed) Fiance's parents hate me.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 32
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Assuming you are Asian based on your profile photo, I can only say only having a grandchild can change them.  I seen sooooo many Asian parents insist their future daughter in law has to be a PHD …. or come from a wealthy family where the best, her parents is a doctor, dentist or Engineer..  I experienced it once with my ex, his mom literally toldhim hat I’m good in every way beside it is unfortunate that I don’t have a bachelor degree…. wth, right? 

 

Anyhow, the most important part is you are marrying the man that love you; just write a sncere letter to them and explain to them that you and your Fiance wish that they can be there for the wedding and how you two want to build a family together.  IF they insist not to show up, it is too bad for them.. it’s their loss.. I once went to a wedding, where the groom’s family, relatives won’t show up (He is Chinese too) for the wedding but the couple has such a great time with friends. We were very happy for them and try to support them in any way we can.  So just focus on your big day.. if you trust yourself can be a loving wife that take care of your husband, one day, they will see it and feel ashame about their current attitude 

Post # 33
Member
3419 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

Well isn’t ths reverse-sexism.

Post # 33
Member
558 posts
Busy bee

I get the impression it is about his mum worried you’re taking him away from her (you may both end up moving to CA etc and the time she said he needs someone to look after him implies she thinks he needs babying/a mother figure. Frankly no-one will ever measure up to the kids in some moms’ opinions, so dont take it personally)

Anyway, if she says categorically: No, I’ll have nothing to do with it   – She feels she is control because she is the one severing the ties with him and not the other way around, which is actually what happened (he proposed to you and made his choice for the rest of his life), but she doesn’t want to see it that way, she likes to run the show (and his). I think she will mellow in time, especially if you have kids.. no parent can resist their charms 😉

Just see this as a phase, as hurtful as it may be, but don’t let it spoil your engagement if you think the two of you are meant to be. Sometimes we just have to blaze a trail. Marriage is the uniting of two people who make decisions together. Imagine how sad he would be if he did everything his mom said. You have a man with character, congratulations.

 

Post # 34
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

JujuBay:  My brother chose to marry someone from a different race and religion.  When my very traditional mother found out she flipped out and told him that she wouldn’t come to the wedding and that it was “her dying wish” (she had cancer) that he didn’t marry her.  The fact that she was so traditional backfired.  She realized nothing was going to stop my brother from marrying and that if she didn’t go to the wedding then the rest of the family would discover that she’s, racist narrow-minded and uses emotional blackmail to get her way.  As a result she had to go to the wedding in order to save face.  Maybe that’ll happen to you guys.  Can you imagine the conversations your Mother-In-Law  would have with her family?

MIL’s sister:  So, are you looking forward to the wedding?

Mother-In-Law:  No, I’m not going.

MIL’s sister:  Why not?

Mother-In-Law:  I don’t like the girl.

MIL’s sister:  Your son will be very upset.

Mother-In-Law:  Yes, but I don’t care.

MIL’s sister:  …awkward silence… Okaaaayyyyy then.  Uhh…I gotta go.

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