(Closed) Fiance’s parents won’t mention wedding…WTF!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Awww, it does suck that they haven’t even said congratulations. Maybe it’s just that with almost a year to go before the wedding, they’re having trouble getting excited about it now. Hopefully you’ll see them perk up as it gets closer.

Is he their first child to get married? If not, maybe they’re just not as jazzed as the first time around.

Also, I feel like grooms’ families are generally a little less into it than brides’ families are.

Did his mom realize that the jars were for your candy buffet? Maybe she’s never seen a candy buffet before and didn’t get that they were for the wedding?

Post # 4
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If it helps, CONGRATULATION!!! (from meSmile). I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Pherhaps you can ask your fiancee to bring up the topic of wedding while they and you are around to see what they’d say or react.

Post # 5
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I didn’t get one question from FI’s family… and it was all drama from mine… so, part of me says be happy about the family you have that is supportive of you!  and for nothing negative from FI’s!

But, in all seriousness – I know it sucks when you want them to ask and they don’t.  There could be tons of different reasons they haven’t (they may not know what to say, don’t want to step on your toes, etc etc etc.)  

Maybe you could actively involve them in some aspect of the planning – that way, they’ll feel needed/wanted, etc and you’ll get their involvement.

Post # 6
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I know the feeling. My soon to be in-laws have never congratulated us. I think they aren’t happy about it. In fact, after we got engaged they didn’t discuss it with us for a long time. They finally acknowledged it when we made an announcement to the grandparents, etc. They never have said Congrats though. At least you don’t have an overbearing Mother-In-Law: Mine tries to tell me WHAT TO DO for my wedding. Probably as the date gets closer they will ask you some more about it, or at least your fiance. Mine have.

Post # 7
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

double post sorry, please remove

Post # 7
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I know the feeling. My soon to be in-laws have never congratulated us. I think they aren’t happy about it. In fact, after we got engaged they didn’t discuss it with us for a long time. They finally acknowledged it when we made an announcement to the grandparents, etc. They never have said Congrats though. They never got us a card ever or anything. They did when my wedding shower came along, but that was just the other day and we are about to  be married. At least you don’t have an overbearing Mother-In-Law: Mine tries to tell me WHAT TO DO for my wedding. Probably as the date gets closer they will ask you some more about it, or at least your fiance. Mine have. 

Post # 8
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

“@oracle:But, in all seriousness – I know it sucks when you want them to ask and they don’t.  There could be tons of different reasons they haven’t (they may not know what to say, don’t want to step on your toes, etc etc etc.) “

I think this is a good point to make. My IL’s never said anything more than a one word “Congratulations” (with all the warmth you would show to a stranger, not a woman who has been dating your son for a decade) and after a lot of detective work, I determined that it was because they didn’t want to make me upset in any way.

So, they withheld any questions or comments or conversations regarding wedding things because they wanted to make sure I stayed happy. I think that’s the opposite of what most people would do, but they thought it was a good idea.

Strange, strange.

Post # 9
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Awww I’m sorry! That feeling is horrible! My in-laws were the same way! Mother-In-Law never once mentioned anything about our engagement or wedding. One of the worst things I thought though, was that she is OBSESSED with fb and posts what she does everyday as her status… well throughout our entire engagement/wedding I saw numerous posts about all the bbq’s, baby showers, engagement parties, and weddings she was going to, but she never once mentioned a word about her son and I!

Oh well I just figured it was her lost, and I now know what to expect from them in the future, they never even got Darling Husband and I a card for the bridal shower or wedding! But she did tell me that she would be expecting my coffe table album of wedding pics because she really liked them….. HA she’s not getting that, they didn’t help with anything for the wedding and if she wants an album she go on the photogs website and order her own, she’s not getting mine!

Post # 10
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

If it were me, I would start asking them direct questions about the wedding.  Like when Mother-In-Law came over, I’d ask “What do you think of the jars FOR THE WEDDING?” 

And just keep asking questions!!  “Hey, I was looking at flowers … what do you think about this?”  Maybe the direct questions will help get them involved.

Its true, with the wedding being far out … it may be that reason.  They may get more excited when it comes closer, but in the meantime, start asking questions to let them know its on your mind (and that YOUR excited).  See what their reaction will be!

Good luck!  (and remember, the day is about you and your Fiance anyway 🙂

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