- 2 years ago
- Wedding: September 2018
So a little background story. My fiance and I have been together for 8 years as of this July. We finally got engaged on our anniversary in Vegas. Needless to say, his parents didn’t seem super thrilled or terribly excited about the news when we broke it to them. They seemed rather subdued over it, actually. Even my fiance said he was surprised by their lack of reaction. Well, his mom and I have had some issues. When my fiance and I moved in together 3 years ago (he bought a house and his mother went nuts over it), she basically decided to tell me what to do and try to tell me where to put things and how to do things the way she likes them and thinks is best. She got too overzealous and we had to place some boundaries. She didn’t like that but did back off after some time. Last summer, she called him up crying on the phone and telling him that his sister (who I’ve been close to) was cussing her out and calling her names and treating her badly. I didn’t believe that for a minute, so I talked to his sister even though he didn’t want me to. His sister basically confirmed that that was not true and sent text messages to show otherwise. His mother found out because his sister approached her about it and they had a very small issue about it. When confronted about the fact that his mother has blatantly lied about his sister to him and she even lied to him about me once when we moved in together, he writes it off as nothing more than a misunderstanding. Well we went on vacation with his family and his cousin and I were talking about his dad who, for the most part, makes most people uncomfortable with horrible remarks he makes about his mother and people in general and his mom complaining about him the whole time like usual. That got back to his parents who obivously don’t like that. They decided to talk to my fiance about it and not me, so they told him they didn’t like me or trust me anymore because of that. I’m just curious…how can a relationship survive despite issues with in-laws? These have been issues I’ve brought up to my fiance before and he doesn’t want to hear it and says he can’t fix his parents or do anything about it, so he ignores it. It drives me crazy and I’m very different than that. I want to talk about it and so I talk to someone else who can relate to me. Clearly, that wasn’t good because his parents know and they’re upset. Can a relationship survive or even thrive when your soon-to-be in-laws are toxic people and have affected your relationship? How do you get your SO to understand?