Post # 17
@AshleighRose: I understand because I grew up in a family that felt you should only marry a “Blond, Blue Eyed, Swedish Baptist.
It has taken a couple of generations to get past that and to marry for love and happiness.
The only tip I could give is to stay true to yourself.
I hope you and your Fiance are able to work through this with counseling
Post # 18
@lifesaride: You resurrected a 3 week old thread to prove what I said. It doesn’t say don’t judge, it says don’t judge unless you want to be judged. *sigh* shooting fish in a barrel. Try reading some more up to date threads next time…
Post # 19
@DJones69: “sigh” see no further than the end of one’s nose
Post # 20
@AshleighRose: I think ppl forget what a wedding is really all about . It’s About you guys and what you both want. if his parent’s want to miss their sons wedding then let them. they will be the one’s missing out on a special occasion.
Post # 21
Thank you for all your feedback. After three months of silence between my fiance and his parents i decided to write a letter. I asked them to essentially stop this argument. I said it’s not their wedding but it doesn’t mean we don’t want them to be a huge part of it. I went on to say that life was too short and that I want them to be part of our wedding day and our lives after the wedding. I just wanted them to contact my fiance.
We went to visit them at their house and, well that didn’t go over very well. His mother was furious that I wrote a letter (that my fiance read and approved of btw). She then attacks me and tells me that we love other people more than her or else we would have changed the wedding location. She then proceeds to ignore me and speak to my fiance in Polish only; trying to isolate me from their conversation. It’s safe to say that we left on another sour note.
I am honestly at my breaking point with his parents. I am disgusted that these memories will now be attached to the planning of our wedding day. I will never understand how a person can be so selfish as to avoid her own son’s wedding out of spite because she isn’t getting her way. My fiance is done with it as well. He is washing his hands of them as of now. We are focusing on our wedding and the people who are just as excited to celebrate our day with us. 🙂
Post # 22
@AshleighRose: I have a similar problem with my own parents. We’re Jewish (my family – Fiance is not) and I really did not want to have a religious wedding. Both Fiance and I wanted a symbolic wedding with a friend officiating. We’re doing a Destination Wedding in the DR and my mom told me my wedding was fake. I even agreed to doing a Jewish ceremony with a rabbi back home before we go or shortly after we come back and she was “fine” with that, but still called my wedding fake and said there would be no reason to invite most of my family members to my “fake” wedding. We finally decided to have a rabbi do it in the DR because we found one and just decided to compromise – they are after all paying for most of the wedding most likely and we’re going to have to do it anyway and it isn’t my dream or what I want, but if it makes them happy then so be it.
Is there no compromise you can come up with? Maybe do the ceremony back home in the church as a secret? Or find a catholic church in the DR to do it in (I’m sure that won’t be too hard lol)?
Post # 23
@DJones69: they’re entitled to their opinion but not entitled to voice it to the couple
Post # 24
Just enjoy your wedding. I am American and my husband is English. I live in Georgia and we got married in NY. 16 people attended, and sadly, my husbands father was not one of them. At the time, it was said that he didn’t come due to money issues, but that is not the case…. anyway, on the day of the wedding – it was him that was missing out. When we visit my in laws home, it is he who is not in the wedding photos. This is their choice and you are doing the right thing but just having the wedding you want.
Post # 25
@bebero: Sure they are, unless wherever you live prohibits speech. Anyone is entitled to say anything to anyone unless it violates a law. Whether the person listening to it wants to take it to heart is completely up to them but EVERYONE (in the US) is entitled to say what they want.
Post # 26
@DJones69: entitled by law is not the same as entitled by morals, entitled by niceness, entitled but what’s appropriate.
if you see a couple on their first date in a restaurant you’re legally entitled to go and say “you’re obviously not gonna last at all, don’t bother going on a second date”. sure, you have the legal right, but that’s where it ends.
if you see an old woman buying a matress you’re legally entitled to go and say “why buy a new anything if you’re clearly dying any day? just use your old matress” That doesn’t mean that you’re actually entitled to say that to her.
Post # 27
@DJones69: and, By The Way, if you want to speak in legal terms only, no, not everyone’s allowed to say whatever they want.