- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
Okay Hi Bees!!
So I am at my wits end and I do not think I have ever been this stressed out in my life.
My Fiance and I got engaged back in 2009 and purposely set our date 2 years in advance in 2011 to space out from all the other weddings that were going on with his cousins in 2010.
We set our date this past March for a Saturday in Sept 2011. Soon after this my fiance’s cousin decided to get engaged (they had a baby and they do not live locally) and in April get married in a civil court and annouce that their “real” wedding date will be in Sept 2011 as well…. 2 weeks after ours.
So we were concerned that the dates being as close as they were might cause family conflict esp with finances and bridal events. We confronted them about our concern nicely and they annouced that they had set their date first and we were the ones in the wrong. So we let bi-gons be bi-gons and let it ride feeling a little burned.
So first they were supposed to have a full blown wedding…and then it wasn’t going to be a wedding just a party at a relatives house….and that was the last I was informed of it until of recently.
While this disorganized wedding is going on (no website, no save the dates, no set venue, sporadic communication coming only from what we hear at family parties) my fiance and I have our venues booked, website up, save the dates out, etc.
SO I just find out about a few weeks ago that my fiance’s other cousin who is pregant out of wedlock (which is completely fine I have nothing against this) is having her wedding 2 weeks BEFORE ours.
SO now we have a family wedding 2 weeks before ours AND 2 weeks AFTER ours.
As you can imagine things are starting to feel a LITTLE cramped.
But I took it all in stride trying not to get mad that out of all the months in the year they pick one so close to ours with it already being a cramped month with 2 weddings going on. So in about 1 month there will be 3 weddings ALL my fiance’s family’s.
Needless to say my fiance and I were starting to feel like our wedding was getting pushed to the side and our special month was turing more into wedding assembly line.
But regardless I take it all in stride and do my best to be understanding and keep telling myself that all that matters is that me and my fiance get married on the day that we set with all of our friends and families there to support us. Because lets be honest–that is the main point of a wedding (and wedding celebration) right?
So I was fine…I was fine when his other cousin stole our wedding song for their cake cutting song so we had to change ours…..looked to the bright side when we had to share our month with 2 other family weddings….took it with a pinch of salt when his other cousin annouced they were doing a candy station like us (bc its very popular I can’t really hold that against her)…but then something happened that I couldn’t deal with.
Our wedding colors got stolen.
I suppose when its written out in text it doesn’t look like that big of deal.
But for me its is.
I love our colors so much, my fiance and I picked them out way back when we got engaged and after having our wedding song stolen (bc we thought if we told everyone getting married at the time that it this was OUR song that no one would use it…but it did) we decided to keep our mouths shut with this one until we got closer to the wedding.
Way over a month ago we announced on our wedding website that we had chosen our colors and shared with everyone our color scheme.
Now I do not expect everyone to have our wedding website under their bookmarks or listed in their favorites….but I wanted to put it out there as there were so many weddings going on.
I shared with my bridesmaids a few weeks ago in Novemember of the dresses and the wedding colors so they were all aware.
We weren’t able to truly share the colors with everyone until of recently at Thanksgiving. We were so happy to share our colors with everyone and inform the new bride to be (fiance’s cousin, the one getting married before us) that these were our colors so she could go ahead and discover hers without knowing what everyone else was doing.
Everything was great. Things were going to work out and our wedding would be cramped but beautiful.
Then I disovered a few days ago that the other bride (not the one before us…the one who as of recently was supposed to just have a family party to celebrate their already occurred marriage) discreetly annouced that colors and that she had had them for “forever” ….AND THEY WERE THE SAME AS OURS.
I think the stress of everything else going on (its a very busy time at work right now) I felt a feeling I had never felt before: extreme shock and the feeling of being threatened.
So now with a few of our bridesmaids also being in these other weddings due to family relations I am guessing that the one told the bride with our wedding colors that we have the same colors and I’m guessing by the way social networking works…she has it in her head that I saw her colors on that she “annouced” on her social networking site and “stole” them from her.
I’m so tired of this. I have been nothing but nice and understanding but now I am my wits end. I am tired of being nice but being made out to be the “bad guy.” And I’m tired of our wedding being pushed to the side and having to be shared with everyone else when we purposedly put it far in advance to avoid this situation.
Now I am scared that more upfront and personal drama will start. And that our bridal showers will overlap or become a factory again. So amongest all this I am starting to panic that other aspects of our wedding that my fiance and I have taken such love and time to create will be stolen and my paranoia has reached the level of “oh my god what if they choose the same wedding dress as mine??” I know that is so unrealistic as there are so many gowns out there but I’m sure you can understand how my paranoia got there.
So instead of “fun” stressing over what linen fabric to chose I am too busy trying to protect the uniqueness of our wedding.
I have never ever wanted to become a bridezilla but I feel like I must bring out the big guns stop being nice and become bridezilla in order to protect my wedding 🙁
So I keep my mouth shut…things get stolen. We tell everyone…its gets stolen. What is a girl to do?
What do I do bees?? What would you do??