(Closed) Fiance’s sister getting engaged a week before our wedding…umm, what?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: OK for your fiance's sister to get engaged one week before your wedding???

    Totally reasonable, you'll have your day, let them have theirs. It's an entire week before.

    Totally not OK! It's selfish for them to steal the spotlight so last minute and close to your weddin

  • Post # 66
    Member
    825 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Guys, stop attacking OP.  She acknowledged what you said and is committed to letting it roll of her back.  Stop the pile on.

    And honestly, while I get what other people saying, I do understand.  I think it’s awesome that her BF told you guys.  BUT my Fiance purposely proposed AFTER his sister’s wedding to let her have her day.  But it’s all a personal choice.  And honestly, I know his sister loves me, but I thought it was incredibly thoughtful of my Fiance to wait until after her wedding.  But maybe that’s just me.  Yes, I know no one gets a month, year, or whatever, but still….I dont know.

     

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    @sarindipity: Congrats on getting so close to your wedding 🙂  Hope everything works out great!

    Post # 67
    Member
    535 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

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    @sarindipity:  Think of it this way…Your wedding will actually take away from their engagement spotlight.  Once it is time for your rehearsal dinner, it will all be about your wedding.  Don’t worry. 

    Post # 69
    Member
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think we all need to take a step back from this post and be a little kinder to the OP. She asked if she was being selfish, and she realizes now that she might just be stressed and came here for a sanity check. We gave that to her…she said she’s going to chill out. No reason to be nasty!

    Post # 70
    Member
    1809 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

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    @sarindipity: You know what I think? It’s so nice to see someone make a post asking for advice, and actually take the advice. So thank you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone ask for advice, not hear (or read) what she wanted to hear and then get pissed at us. So you’re not that nuts. 🙂

    Post # 71
    Member
    575 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

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    @2PeasinaPod:  I agree!!  Geez, everyone at the wedding will now be focusing on her her Future Sister-In-Law (even if not just a little)!

    I think you have a right to be a little upset, but I wouldn’t do anything about it.  Just let it go if you can.

    I’m surprised at the backlash here!!

    Post # 72
    Member
    8734 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @JenniMichele: Amen to that!

     

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    @sarindipity: Congrats on your upcoming wedding. I can’t wait to hear about it. Don’t feel obligated to go to NYC and enjoy all the happiness currently surrounding you!

    Post # 73
    Member
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @NauticalBride2011: Here, here!! 

    I think it is great that before you reacted you put a mirror up to see what others thought.  Kind of like when I call my sister and say “Would I be being a bitch if I threw the remote at FI’s head for making me watch 24 hours of Orange County Choppers???” 

    Hang in there girl, and stay excited about your big day!!

    Post # 74
    Member
    345 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would like to toss my hat into the ring on this subject. As other Bees have commented, you get a day. Not a week, not a month, not a year. One day. Furthermore, you cannot dictate when it is right for another couple to take such a step in their relationship. Each relationship progresses on its own time, and it’s completely unfair for one person to object to such a commitment on the basis that it’s close to one of their milestones.

    ETA: And don’t worry about someone else’s engagement “stealing your thunder”. Your family, friends and guests will still be more than excited for your wedding. There’s enough love to go around.

    Post # 75
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I disagree with most. What is the reasoning for choosing the week BEFORE the wedding and not the week AFTER? They could be planning to announce it at your wedding… which would put a lot of attention on them… Most of the extended family and friends probably won’t get to see the ring/hear the story until they are all together at your wedding. I find it a little sketchy!

    Post # 77
    Member
    6889 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’m sure you’ve heard enough of the “it’s not like it’s your wedding” thing, but I’ll just say my advice is this: Handle this with grace. It will set the tone for a long time to come. It’s okay to be internally upset, but I would not verbalize this to ANYONE.

    Post # 78
    Member
    8734 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @linzx08: I feel like if that was their intention her bf wouldn’t have asked permission to do it.

    Maybe that date is really special to them for another reason.

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