(Closed) Fiance’s sister getting engaged a week before our wedding…umm, what?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: OK for your fiance's sister to get engaged one week before your wedding???

    Totally reasonable, you'll have your day, let them have theirs. It's an entire week before.

    Totally not OK! It's selfish for them to steal the spotlight so last minute and close to your weddin

  • Post # 60
    726 posts
    Busy bee

    @jenroh1984: lol that’s what I thought at first! But then I saw engaged and I was like…oh…so what? But OP said her wedding is right around the corner so she’s stressed and this made her a little upset.


    Now I just want to say if someone else is getting married, i’m supposed to put my life on hold just so the couple doesn’t get upset?? So that means engagements, marriages, babies, new homes, new jobs, anything that people might ask me about or congratulate me on?? That’s the vibe I get from the whole idea about him waiting to propose. It doesn’t make sense or seem resonable at all. I’m sorry but i’m not going to sit and wait until your done. People can be happy for multiple people at once!!

    OP def do some yoga or something to help calm your nerves!! And don’t worry all eyes will be on you on your wedding day! 🙂 Congrats!

    Post # 61
    2336 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Golden139: I second this!

    Post # 62
    1074 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I can see where it might give you pause so close to your wedding.  It’s not so much a bridezilla thing as your emotions are on overload so close to the big day.


    Take a deep breath and be gracious about it.  Sure she’ll be excited about her own big day, but it won’t take away from yours.  She’ll probably be even more interested in seeing your pictures afterwards as she starts contemplating her own wedding day.  When you see her at the wedding, give her a big hug and tell her congratulations.  Your day won’t be any less or lose any bridal thunder.  Look at it as an opportunity to shine as a great a addition to your fiance’s family and a way to bring you and his sister closer.

    Post # 63
    427 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @sarindipity: “I get that the world doesn’t stop, but my world kind of stops a little bit.”

    Exactly. Yours. Not everyone elses.

    Post # 64
    574 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011


    Post # 66
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Guys, stop attacking OP.  She acknowledged what you said and is committed to letting it roll of her back.  Stop the pile on.

    And honestly, while I get what other people saying, I do understand.  I think it’s awesome that her BF told you guys.  BUT my Fiance purposely proposed AFTER his sister’s wedding to let her have her day.  But it’s all a personal choice.  And honestly, I know his sister loves me, but I thought it was incredibly thoughtful of my Fiance to wait until after her wedding.  But maybe that’s just me.  Yes, I know no one gets a month, year, or whatever, but still….I dont know.


    @sarindipity: Congrats on getting so close to your wedding 🙂  Hope everything works out great!

    Post # 67
    257 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @sarindipity:  Think of it this way…Your wedding will actually take away from their engagement spotlight.  Once it is time for your rehearsal dinner, it will all be about your wedding.  Don’t worry. 

    Post # 69
    4005 posts
    Honey bee

    I think we all need to take a step back from this post and be a little kinder to the OP. She asked if she was being selfish, and she realizes now that she might just be stressed and came here for a sanity check. We gave that to her…she said she’s going to chill out. No reason to be nasty!

    Post # 70
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @sarindipity: You know what I think? It’s so nice to see someone make a post asking for advice, and actually take the advice. So thank you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen someone ask for advice, not hear (or read) what she wanted to hear and then get pissed at us. So you’re not that nuts. 🙂

    Post # 71
    397 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @2PeasinaPod:  I agree!!  Geez, everyone at the wedding will now be focusing on her her Future Sister-In-Law (even if not just a little)!

    I think you have a right to be a little upset, but I wouldn’t do anything about it.  Just let it go if you can.

    I’m surprised at the backlash here!!

    Post # 72
    4831 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @JenniMichele: Amen to that!


    View original reply
    @sarindipity: Congrats on your upcoming wedding. I can’t wait to hear about it. Don’t feel obligated to go to NYC and enjoy all the happiness currently surrounding you!

    Post # 73
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @NauticalBride2011: Here, here!! 

    I think it is great that before you reacted you put a mirror up to see what others thought.  Kind of like when I call my sister and say “Would I be being a bitch if I threw the remote at FI’s head for making me watch 24 hours of Orange County Choppers???” 

    Hang in there girl, and stay excited about your big day!!

    Post # 74
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would like to toss my hat into the ring on this subject. As other Bees have commented, you get a day. Not a week, not a month, not a year. One day. Furthermore, you cannot dictate when it is right for another couple to take such a step in their relationship. Each relationship progresses on its own time, and it’s completely unfair for one person to object to such a commitment on the basis that it’s close to one of their milestones.

    ETA: And don’t worry about someone else’s engagement “stealing your thunder”. Your family, friends and guests will still be more than excited for your wedding. There’s enough love to go around.

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