(Closed) Fiance’s sister getting engaged a week before our wedding…umm, what?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: OK for your fiance's sister to get engaged one week before your wedding???
    Totally reasonable, you'll have your day, let them have theirs. It's an entire week before. : (575 votes)
    89 %
    Totally not OK! It's selfish for them to steal the spotlight so last minute and close to your weddin : (74 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 75
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I disagree with most. What is the reasoning for choosing the week BEFORE the wedding and not the week AFTER? They could be planning to announce it at your wedding… which would put a lot of attention on them… Most of the extended family and friends probably won’t get to see the ring/hear the story until they are all together at your wedding. I find it a little sketchy!

    Post # 77
    Member
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’m sure you’ve heard enough of the “it’s not like it’s your wedding” thing, but I’ll just say my advice is this: Handle this with grace. It will set the tone for a long time to come. It’s okay to be internally upset, but I would not verbalize this to ANYONE.

    Post # 78
    Member
    8736 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @linzx08: I feel like if that was their intention her bf wouldn’t have asked permission to do it.

    Maybe that date is really special to them for another reason.

    Post # 79
    Member
    2906 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @sarindipity:Propose? That’s WONDERFUL!

    I thought you were going to say they were getting married the week before which in my book is a huge NO NO.

     

    I actually offered to rig the bouquet toss/garter toss so my bro could propose. He turned it down. Someone else accepted though! We’re very excited about it.

     

     

    Let me give you some advice from a place of my own (healing) jealousy.

    It is OK to be jealous. It is OK to b*tch about it on the bee. Do not tell your family or his how much it is eating you up, They will remember it long after you have gotten over it.

     

    Take a look at why you are jealous–take a look at what they have that you wish you could have. This can help you appreciate your own situation better and lose the jealousy. It’s a time consuming annoying process, but jealousy can go away.

     

    Best wishes.

    Post # 80
    Member
    2906 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    🙁 I lost my well written post!

     

    I think the answer is this: No you should not be upset.

    Yes, you are upset. Yes, you have some jealousy. That is OK. You are entitled to be upset/jealous for whatever reason, but as

    @AmeliaBedelia: said, don’t talk to anyone you know about this. Let is all out here.

     

    Your jealousy will fade. You are super busy now, you have so much on your plate, you don’t want Future Sister-In-Law to know that it hurt you. It won’t keep hurting forever. It will go away. You may need to evaluate why exactly you are so frustrated. That helps make the jealousy go away.

     

    FWIW I was very jealous of my Brother-In-Law getting married before us and it took FOREVER to get over.

    On the other hand, I actually offered to my brother to rig the bouquet toss so he could propose to his Girlfriend during the reception.

    Everyone has different things that bother them. Just because you’re getting flamed for being upset doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be, it just means you need to keep it from your family/his family. Only talk to your Maid/Matron of Honor or us until it stops eating you up.

     

    Best wishes, you are going to have a GORGEOUS wedding, and your FSIL’s joy will not interfere with yours.

    Post # 81
    Member
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @bells: I agree- just let it go

    Post # 82
    Member
    2906 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Awww darnit. Now i have two up. Sorry 🙁

    Post # 83
    Member
    2522 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I completely understand where you’re coming from.
    I can’t give good advice because honestly…even though irrational…it would piss me off.
    I’m selfish, okay?

    Post # 84
    Member
    528 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I really don’t get this. I’d be over the moon and even if it happened ON my wedding day! This is a WEEK before!!! I keep seeing all this thunder stealing stuff on here that I totally don’t get- people should just be happy for their loved ones. Whenever I read these posts it makes me think of that Friends episode where Rachel apparently ‘steals’ Monica’s engagement thunder lol didn’t get that either.

    Post # 85
    Member
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Actually I am going to agree with the original poster! This would bother me quite a lot. The week before is close to the wedding and the build up is part of the day..aren’t they trying to steal her thunder a bit? and ahy cant thry get engaged after the wedding? I would be upset too to be honest, though it’s a bit pricessy to admit it! I guess though there’s nothing you can do, and it probably/hopefully won’t take attention from you on your big day!

    Post # 86
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Lol, let them be and be happy for them. Remember, as brides we only get one day! It would be very selfish to propose at yor wedding, but any day apart from 29 May is fine 🙂

    Post # 87
    Member
    2906 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @FutureMrsMaher:Sometimes it hurts to feel like your thunder was stolen. It doesn’t have to be logical to happen.

     

    The OP needs support in dealing with her negative emotions, especially so she can be happy for them and for herself by the time of her wedding.

     

    It sucks when you have emotions that you know you’re “not supposed to” have. Because there they are! She needs help feeling happy about it all.

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