(Closed) Fiance’s sister getting engaged a week before our wedding…umm, what?

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: OK for your fiance's sister to get engaged one week before your wedding???

    Totally reasonable, you'll have your day, let them have theirs. It's an entire week before.

    Totally not OK! It's selfish for them to steal the spotlight so last minute and close to your weddin

  • Post # 104
    2402 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    sorry, but it’s your wedding day, not your wedding week.

    I’m so glad you are feeling better about this! I think if you had made a fuss, you would have regretted that later. now you can all enjoy yourselves 🙂

    Post # 106
    7941 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @sarindipity: I am in this situation right now and while our frustration may seem ridiculous to some it is understandable.

    As long as the proposal doesn’t occur at your wedding or wedding related events it is acceptable (technically) although it does steal your thunder a bit. Life happens and with all the changes that come there is bound to be an overlap in good news etc.

    We got enaged over New Years and one week later when trying to share our good news his brother and sister-in-law had a baby…there went our moment. One of his relatives actually said to me “sorry baby trumps engagement ring anyday.”

    Now with our wedding in May 2012 and the baby excitement just starting to wear off I find out that my cousin’s bf is proposing and in Yosemite (same place my man proposed to me). I feel like screaming “how freaking original?!?!”

    I guess we both have to tell ourselves it isn’t personal and no one has forgotten our special moments. We aren’t bridezillas, we just don’t want to share the spotlight. Wink

    Post # 107
    4005 posts
    Honey bee

    @sarindipity:  So glad to hear that everything worked out! It’s so easy to lose sight of things when you’re only a week before your own wedding, but that’s what we’re here for! And how exciting is it for your Future Sister-In-Law now?!? I hope you all have a fantastic wedding this weekend and kudos to you for being such a selfless person :o)

    Post # 108
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    edit – Guess I need to read allll the comments. Glad things turned out okay.

    Post # 110
    3423 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999


    Glad it worked out for you.  Hope you have a blast this weekend!!! Congrats.

    Post # 111
    7941 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @sarindipity: Thanks! I am sure it will all work out and like I said the new-baby excitement is starting to wind down a bit. Can’t blame a girl for wanting the moment to be hers. 🙂

    Post # 112
    536 posts
    Busy bee

    I think it’s interesting they want to do that with a wedding coming up and all this stuff going on. Her brother is getting married! Doesn’t her soon-to-be-fiance want to have a special relaxing time to themselves? I wouldn’t want to get engaged during a busy time like that… but it’s not a big deal all together, like because it’s a wedding… just a busy time I would think.

    Post # 113
    1096 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    You get a day, maybe a weekend, but not a week or a a month. Be happy for them.

    Post # 114
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Great update! So glad to hear you enjoyed being there. Sounds like you definitely took the high road and it was a win-win situation for everyone…now enjoy your big day!!

    Post # 115
    14 posts
    • Wedding: September 2011

    This can be upsetting for a bride to be…it happened to me in my first wedding. My Future Brother-In-Law proposed to his LONG time girlfriend two months before our wedding, AND had the wedding a week before ours, many family members came into town for their wedding but could not stay the whole week until ours. These were people we had invited long before this wedding,and had confirmed their coming to our wedding.

    Obviously this was not a good situation, my future sis in law acted as nothing was wrong with this, as she planned her wedding and forgot all about things her and I were going to do for my wedding.

    The family was not very nice about it either, saying oh well you have always gotten things you wanted because your family always had money and our didn’t….I was upset because I had NEVER brought our different pasts into any discussion.

    I don’t know if anyone else has actually had this happen who is responding, but when it does, it can hurt. No, nobody has the rights to the only good news for that week, but a little bit of empathy with how much time heatache and money is involved with the planning of a wedding shows that families can work together.

    Good luck in the future with your family.


    Post # 119
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    While I agree that it doesn’t seem like a big deal, the fact that her boyfriend asked if it was ok with you before hand makes me wonder what is going on here.  Clearly he is willing to consider your feelings and the fact that it could be a bit rude… so if this has already crossed his mind what’s the harm in waiting a eight whole days?

    I’d be a bit irked to be your future sister in law actually!  If I were her, I’d be a rather disappointed to have my engagement brightly outshined by my sibling’s wedding immediately afterwards.  I also imagine it could be really annoying to have everyone at your wedding interrogating her about her soon-to-be wedding.  She’ll only have been engaged for a week, and then she’ll be harrassed by family about the details of planning (since all your details will be on display for comparison).

    While I don’t think anyone’s being rude here it just seems like a totally unnecessary pain the butt for everyone!

    Post # 120
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m going to go against the grain and say I’d be upset too! I know it’s not the end of the world, and I know that in reality it won’t put a damper on your day, but I’d be irked and wonder why they couldn’t wait just a little bit longer. I wouldn’t SAY anything, but eh!

    Post # 121
    28 posts

    Their relationship has nothing whatsoever to do with yours!  Don’t obsess over something that ultimately isn’t your business!

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