(Closed) fiance’s sister in wedding?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

in my case, yes. FH has only one sibling, his sister who is one year younger than i am, who lives in the same city we do, so it would have been totally awkward if i had not asked her. there was no reason i shouldn’t.

however, i dont think in every case it’s 100% neccesary. like if he has 4 sisters, you probably aren’t required to ask all of them. or if she doesn’t like you very much. or if she’s really young. just thinking out loud here.

however, if none of those apply, then i think it’s the nice thing to do. a good way of saying “we’re family now” or some BS like that 😉

Post # 4
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I don’t know…I would be interested in seeing what people say. My now husband has one step-sister (although my husband always just calls her his sister, and they have known each other for a while) who is our age but is married and has a little girl. Her daughter was our flower girl, so I felt like I didn’t need to ask the sister to be in the wedding. We are fairly close now, but she lives far away and I didn’t feel like she wanted to be in the wedding.

My husband’s brother has been with his girlfriend for 6+ years, and looking back I do feel like maybe we should have asked her to be in the wedding. But, she was a reader, and we only had one, and I don’t feel like she was upset that she wasn’t a bridesmaid.

Post # 5
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Future Sister-In-Law is going to be one of my bridemaids because I actually like her a lot, haha.  And she is FI’s only sibling and we’re all close in age.  I agree with @mayeast06 for reasons NOT to have FSIL(s) in your wedding party though.  For us, it worked out perfectly because my brother (only sibling for me) will be one of FI’s groomsman.  I wouldn’t say it’s always mandatory; there are lots of factors to consider.  But if it’s convenient, and you are close to your Future Sister-In-Law, then I say yes!

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

No, not necessarily. If it’s an even trade or something, yes. I told my husband I didn’t want to ask his sister to be in my wedding party b/c we aren’t very close (plus she’s 5 years older than me) and it wasn’t like my brother would have been a groomsman since he passed away a year or so ago. Otherwise, we would have “traded”. BUt no, I never felt obligated. We ended up having her stand on his side in a black dress with a sash that all my bridesmaids worse and we gave her a bouquet too

Post # 7
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Well since you’re asking the question, can you give us details on the circumstances?

I don’t know if it’s absolutely necessary, but if my Dh had sisters I would have asked them.  I think it shows good will in trying to foster some new family relationships.

Post # 8
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Personally, I don’t think it’s mandatory, but I think it’s a really, really good idea to ask. But I’m the kind of person who thinks family comes first when you’re dealing with weddings. For example, my FI’s cousin got married recently, and the bride didn’t ask the groom’s sister to be a part of the wedding party, and the family was hurt by it, especially because they were very similar in age and lived in town. The groom was really traditional and didn’t want girls on his side, either. It didn’t cause any bad blood or anything, but you know, there was some disappointment.

Just think of it this way: it’s a really nice way to kick off becoming a part of the family 🙂 Unless of course, really have good reasons not to.

Post # 9
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Not mandatory in my opinion, but since we only have one sibling each, we want them stand up there with us. 

Post # 10
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s not mandatory, and certainly depends on situations, but I do think it is a very nice gesture and demonstrates a desire to strengthen family and community ties.

Of course, if one partner is uncomfortable with the idea, you can always go the non-traditional route and have bridesboys and groomsgirls.  Or just a general wedding party and avoid gender-specific titles or the idea of “who’s side”.

Post # 11
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Yes, I think it is. Weddings are about starting a new family and I think part of that is including your siblings in the wedding party if possible. There are a few exceptions, but if they want to be a part, I would do it.

Post # 12
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

Traditionally… yes. However, if she s not from town or if there are like 6 then no you don’t have to. But if he has several ask them ALL do not ask one and not the other if they re all in the same city…trust me, good luck!

Post # 13
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

also his parents will give more money if you include them

Post # 14
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I vote generally on this one, though there are definitely circumstances for which it’s a different case like those mentioned above. I’m guessing you may not want to if you’re asking, so some elaboration might be helpful 🙂

Post # 15
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

There would clearly be some circumstances in which it would not be a big deal if you didn’t… However, in my opinion, its important to have immediate family members play a part in the wedding. I will have my Future Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid. We’re not super close, but we get along and have known each other almost as long as I’ve known him. I hope we become closer eventually, b/c neither of us has a sister (I’m an only child, boo!). Plus, it’s just a small attempt you can make to show that your families are coming together… cause when it comes down to it… though the couple is marrying, your families are coming together as well. And who knows… your relationship with your Future Sister-In-Law may be longer than some of the friends you have in your wedding party. Ha… my boss was the Maid/Matron of Honor for a friend of like 10 years… a month after the wedding they had like a friend break up. lol.

I also think what ejs4y8 did was a lovely idea… at least the sister was a part of the wedding

Post # 16
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I do not think it is necessary!

If you want them there to spend your day with you GREAT if not ask who you really want to have there!

The topic ‘fiance’s sister in wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors