Post # 1
Ok, my Fiance and I announced our engagement last year. a couple months later her sister (who is awful to my fiance and I.) announced she is having a wedding a year before our wedding. Her sister eloped 4 years ago. Now the family is making it a huge deal. Her dad is demanding he walk her down the aisle and give her away. She wants a big ceremony and shower and everything. I feel it’s a giant waste of time and my money. I have to fly up there and then drive 3 hours to the site and pay for a hotel room for the 3 days that the “wedding” and practice are taking place over. I’ve been told by my fiance I have to go or her family will basically disown me. Help? I’m being forced to go to this sham wedding.
Post # 3
Wait, they already eloped years ago and are now having a wedding? That is weird but what can you do? It’s better to grin and bear it than be on the outs with your in-law.s
Post # 5
@MrsOliveBird: I know it is awful. I just feel like she’s doing this because she wants to beat her sister .
Post # 6
wow, elope then four years later a wedding, they’re weird. Anywho, so what, you’ll have your wedding too and will be better. Don’t miss out on wedding even though you don’t agree, it’s important to be there just like they will be at yours later.
Post # 7
Very strange..?? They’re referring to this as a wedding and not a vow renewal? Look, we’re eloping and had planned to do a vow renewal at 10 years but what they’re doing is … Different. I think they’ll be raising a lot of eyebrows. Nevertheless, as Ohmystars says It’s definitely better to grin and bear it than be on the outs with your in-laws. They seem confused to me
Post # 8
Wow, that’s strange. I’d go and suffer through it, but I likely wouldn’t bring a substantial gift, and I would not attend the shower. She’s not entitled to a shower since she’s already married! But for the sake of family harmony, it’s better to just go.
Post # 9
@MrsOliveBird: @abbie017: I agree with you both!!
I am not a fan of when people do this. If you think you might regret eloping later then don’t elope. It’s not for everyone!
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
Strange! I guess one or both regret eloping. Either that or their marriage needs a boost in a big way.
Post # 11
I could understand her like renewing her vows or whatever, but this is just weird. Especialy as it seems to link in with your wedding. Sounds like she’s jealous x
Post # 12
Crazy pants. But honestly, it’s not worth getting upset over. Go for the few days, smile, and have fun with your future family. It’s all weird, and quite silly if you ask me, but you’re not the one who has to explain whatever weirdo rationale they have. And you’re not really obligated to even give a gift, but a small gift (I’d probably go with something sentimental and handmade) might be nice.
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. Try to find it in your heart to be happy for her, and maybe this can be the start of repairing the realtionship between her and your fiance. If she wants to have a big wedding and people want to come, then why not? Maybe you don’t approve, but it’s not your place to judge. You just need to be along for the ride and show support as a soon-to-be member of the family.
Post # 14
That is weird. I definitely understand your frustration, but it’s probably better to bite your tongue and attend the ceremony. Just think of it as a vow renewal. Now as far as a shower, no that’s just ridiculous. I wouldn’t feel bad about not attending.
Post # 15
@mrsSonthebeach: this, exactly.
you don’t have to like it, but for the good of your family (FI’s family will be your family once you get married) you do have to go. just attend as a guest to any other wedding would and enjoy the party.
Post # 16
@mrsSonthebeach: +1. You said it better than I was going to.
I don’t think what she’s doing follows proper etiquette, etc. but at the end of the day there literally isn’t anything you can do about it. I would just go and suck it up, complaing about it inwardly and then afterwards sit in bed with some sushi and watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey in my PJ’s.. yeah, that’s my detailed plan lol.