(Closed) fiance's sister's "wedding" after eloping 4 years ago!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wait, they already eloped years ago and are now having a wedding? That is weird but what can you do? It’s better to grin and bear it than be on the outs with your in-law.s 

Post # 4
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You get one wedding.

She has had hers.


Post # 6
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

wow, elope then four years later a wedding, they’re weird. Anywho, so what, you’ll have your wedding too and will be better. Don’t miss out on wedding even though you don’t agree, it’s important to be there just like they will be at yours later.

Post # 7
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Very strange..?? They’re referring to this as a wedding and not a vow renewal? Look, we’re eloping and had planned to do a vow renewal at 10 years but what they’re doing is … Different. I think they’ll be raising a lot of eyebrows. Nevertheless, as Ohmystars says It’s definitely better to grin and bear it than be on the outs with your in-laws. They seem confused to me

Post # 8
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, that’s strange.  I’d go and suffer through it, but I likely wouldn’t bring a substantial gift, and I would not attend the shower.  She’s not entitled to a shower since she’s already married!  But for the sake of family harmony, it’s better to just go.

Post # 9
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MrsOliveBird:  @abbie017:  I agree with you both!!

I am not a fan of when people do this. If you think you might regret eloping later then don’t elope. It’s not for everyone!

Post # 10
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

Strange! I guess one or both regret eloping. Either that or their marriage needs a boost in a  big way.

Post # 11
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I could understand her like renewing her vows or whatever, but this is just weird.  Especialy as it seems to link in with your wedding.  Sounds like she’s jealous x

Post # 12
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Crazy pants. But honestly, it’s not worth getting upset over. Go for the few days, smile, and have fun with your future family. It’s all weird, and quite silly if you ask me, but you’re not the one who has to explain whatever weirdo rationale they have. And you’re not really obligated to even give a gift, but a small gift (I’d probably go with something sentimental and handmade) might be nice.

Post # 13
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. Try to find it in your heart to be happy for her, and maybe this can be the start of repairing the realtionship between her and your fiance. If she wants to have a big wedding and people want to come, then why not? Maybe you don’t approve, but it’s not your place to judge. You just need to be along for the ride and show support as a soon-to-be member of the family.

Post # 14
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

That is weird.  I definitely understand your frustration, but it’s probably better to bite your tongue and attend the ceremony.  Just think of it as a vow renewal.  Now as far as a shower, no that’s just ridiculous.  I wouldn’t feel bad about not attending.

Post # 15
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@mrsSonthebeach:  this, exactly. 

you don’t have to like it, but for the good of your family (FI’s family will be your family once you get married) you do have to go. just attend as a guest to any other wedding would and enjoy the party.

Post # 16
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@mrsSonthebeach:  +1. You said it better than I was going to.

I don’t think what she’s doing follows proper etiquette, etc. but at the end of the day there literally isn’t anything you can do about it. I would just go and suck it up, complaing about it inwardly and then afterwards sit in bed with some sushi and watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey in my PJ’s.. yeah, that’s my detailed plan lol. 

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